‘If I tell him, he’ll be bound to push me to go back to Mill House when I get home,’ I explain. ‘Even more than he already does, and I’m just not sure I can face it. I still need more time. Being around horses again is one thing – being around them in that place … well, I just don’t know if I can do it.’

Plus, Tui and Kit won’t be there to hold my hands.

‘OK, OK.’ Hayley is contrite now. ‘I won’t mention it again, I promise.’

‘Thank you,’ I say, smiling in the hope that she’ll hear it in my voice. ‘Enjoy the rest of your weird “day after Boxing Day” – eat lots of cake for me. I have to go now, or I’ll miss Kit.’

‘Ah, the delectable Kit again,’ she teases, suddenly gleeful. ‘Now he really does deserve an oo-de-lally.’

I’m still on a buoyant post-Hayley high three hours later, as I empty the final wheelbarrow of droppings on to the muck heap and pause to stretch the knots out from my back. It feels good to be working hard again and using my body for something other than walking.

After Anna’s accident, I went from strenuous twelve-hour days at the yard to doing absolutely nothing except lying prone on my bed, or on the sofa, staring into space. I thought then that if I got up and did anything, I would somehow shift the weight of my grief, or be distracted from it, and I didn’t feel as if I deserved that. I took on the mantle of suffering and embraced it, never even questioning whether or not it was the right thing to do, because at the time, it felt like my only option. But now that I’m here, sweating and puffing and aching from exertion, all I can think is how wrong I have been. While I may not be able to face going back to Mill House Stables, perhaps I could make peace with working at another riding school when I get back to England? The simple and inescapable fact is, I like being useful. Rotting away in my bedroom was not getting me anywhere.

It is also nice not to have the burden of responsibility that I had at Mill House, where I was second in command and seemed to spend most of my time chivvying up the younger members of the team. With Allie away, nobody really seems to be in charge here at Koru, but all of us know what we’re doing. When I arrived this morning, I simply grabbed the nearest fork and barrow and got stuck in, only stopping to chat for a while to Tui, whom Simon had dropped off not long after the first ride of the day went out.