She was here for the anniversary. To look after JD, just as I’d been planning to do. That’s why she’d made it a surprise visit, so he couldn’t put her off. She’d driven all the way from Vegas, up into the frozen mountains, to make sure he was okay. It made me like her even more, and I liked her a lot.

Then I thought about the look in JD’s eyes. God, if he knew, if he even suspected that we’d nearly kissed, or the thoughts I’d been having about her perky breasts and that ripe peach of an ass…. An icy shudder went through me, the kind you get when you forget to check your mirror and a semi-truck misses you by inches. What would JD have walked in on, if he’d been a few minutes later?

I found a bottle of bourbon, poured a shot and knocked it back. That chased the shudder away but, as it burned its way down my throat, the new reality took shape in my mind, cold and gray as rainswept concrete.

I couldn’t be with her. Ever. JD would never allow it, not with my reputation. And if we sneaked around and he found out—and he would find out—I’d lose him. That was something I couldn’t risk. He was the closest friend I’d ever had and he’d saved my life more times than I could count. JD made me feel like I wasn’t out there on my own. I’d never had that with anyone.

Except…

I walked over to the workbench, where Erin had sat. The scent of her was still in the air and I gently breathed her in.

I didn’t know what it was, between me and Erin. It was only just getting started but there was something there, something that was about more than sex…

I snorted and turned away from the workbench. Stupid. I couldn’t feel that stuff, the deep stuff. That part of me broke a long time ago. All I was good for was talking women’s panties off, some filthy, no limits fucking and a quick goodbye kiss in the morning. And that was fine with the sort of women I hooked up with: they knew exactly what I was. But Erin was an innocent little thing. She deserved better than that. If I messed around with her, I’d hurt her and I’d lose my best friend.

Erin was off limits.

I sighed. I had no idea what to do with myself: my plan had been to spend the evening with JD but he was with Erin, now.

The bar, then. Beer, flirting and fucking: that’s what I needed to make everything feel normal.