Back Of Gods and Men
Chapters (110)
  1. COVER
  2. TITLE PAGE
  3. COPYRIGHT
  4. DEDICATION
  5. CONTENTS
  6. INTRODUCTION
  7. THE BIRTH OF LOVE
  8. THE ORIGINS OF THE TROJAN WAR
  9. THE TRUCE
  10. HECTOR VERSUS ACHILLES
  11. THE DEATH OF ACHILLES
  12. THE CYCLOPS
  13. THE SONG OF DEMODOCUS
  14. AND SO TO BED
  15. PROMETHEUS AND PANDORA
  16. WHATEVER ONE LOVES
  17. PERSEPHONE AND THE POMEGRANATE SEEDS
  18. THE LIFE OF AESOP
  19. THE BATTLE OF THE FROGS AND MICE
  20. THE VENGEANCE OF CLYTEMNESTRA
  21. EDUCATING CYRUS
  22. DARIUS AND THE SCYTHIANS
  23. XERXES’ CHOICE
  24. THE FALL OF THE BARBARIANS
  25. THE FAIREST OF THEM ALL
  26. A BEAST OF INDIA
  27. THE ECSTASY
  28. HIPPOLYTUS AND HIS HORSES
  29. EURIPIDES THE WOMAN-HATER
  30. OEDIPUS LEARNS THE TRUTH
  31. ONE GIRL VERSUS THE LAW
  32. THE PLAGUE AT ATHENS
  33. THE MURDER OF ERATOSTHENES
  34. THE POWER OF LOVE
  35. THE AGEING PROCESS
  36. THREE TYPES
  37. THE MISANTHROPE
  38. THE CONTEST OF TWO MOUNTAINS
  39. HERCULES AND THE TWELVE LABOURS
  40. ALEXANDER THE GREAT MEETS THE RAM GOD
  41. THE DEATH OF ALEXANDER
  42. THE CONSTELLATION OF THE MAIDEN
  43. THE MERCHANT
  44. EUROPA AND THE BULL
  45. TROUBLE COMES TO TOWN
  46. PHILOCTETES
  47. SLAUGHTER OF THE HUSBANDS
  48. THE GOLDEN FLEECE
  49. MEDEA’S REVENGE
  50. ARIADNE AND THESEUS
  51. ALCIBIADES
  52. IN THE BEGINNING
  53. SULPICIA’S BIRTHDAY
  54. THE TROJAN HORSE
  55. DIDO AND AENEAS
  56. ROMULUS AND REMUS
  57. THE GEESE ON THE CAPITOL
  58. THE RISE OF HANNIBAL
  59. ATTIS AND THE MOTHER GODDESS
  60. A COUNTRY VILLA
  61. SPARTACUS
  62. A WOMAN SCORNED?
  63. CICERO: FOR HIS DAUGHTER
  64. CAESAR VERSUS POMPEY
  65. DIVINE CAESAR
  66. ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA
  67. TO HEAL AN ASP BITE
  68. THE GNAT
  69. ORPHEUS AND EURYDICE
  70. NARCISSUS
  71. DIANA & ACTAEON
  72. PYGMALION
  73. OVID’S DEFENCE
  74. THE TOWN AND THE COUNTRY MOUSE
  75. THE EMPEROR’S SLAVE
  76. THE RICHES OF CALIGULA
  77. THE PUMPKINIFICATION OF EMPEROR CLAUDIUS
  78. THE STORY OF BRITAIN
  79. THE GREAT FIRE OF ROME
  80. DINNER AT TRIMALCHIO’S
  81. THE ERUPTION OF VESUVIUS
  82. ON LAMPSTANDS, THE DISCOVERY OF GLASS, ON THE DOLPHIN
  83. THE MADNESS OF HERCULES
  84. THE SIEGE OF JOTAPATA
  85. THE COLOSSAL TURBOT
  86. CANNIBALS IN EGYPT
  87. ACHILLES BECOMES A GIRL
  88. THE IMPORTANCE OF BREAST MILK
  89. DO IT YOURSELF
  90. ANDROCLES AND THE LION
  91. PERSEUS AND MEDUSA
  92. WAR ON THE GIANTS
  93. THE METAMORPHOSIS OF CERAMBUS
  94. FIRST LOVE
  95. A SHAM SACRIFICE
  96. THE DREAM OF LUCIAN
  97. PRAXITELES AND THE GODDESS
  98. CUPID AND PSYCHE
  99. A PICTURE OF PHAËTHON
  100. THE WEDDING FEAST
  101. CUPID CRUCIFIED
  102. A CLASSICS STUDENT
  103. THE PHOENIX
  104. THE TWICE-BORN GOD
  105. INTRIGUES AT THE PALACE
  106. A MEETING WITH LADY PHILOSOPHY
  107. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  108. EXTENDED COPYRIGHT
  109. About the Author
  110. An Invitation from the Publisher

and dying in the water, he shouted out these words:

“You won’t evade the gods in doing these deceitful things,

tossing me shipwrecked from your body as if off a crag.

You rotten bastard, you were not better than me upon land

at fighting or wrestling or running, so you brought me to the water

and hurled me into it! God has an eye for vengeance.

You will not avoid paying a penalty and

righteous payback to the host of mice who honor me.”

As he said this, he gasped in the water. And Platelicker

saw him as he sat upon the luxuriant banks.

Then he wailed terribly, ran, and informed the mice.

A dread wrath fell upon them as they learned his fate,

and they ordered their heralds to summon their kin

to the assembly at the home of Breadmuncher at dawn.

He was father of pitiful Crumbthief who floated on the pond

as a corpse facing upward, no longer struggling

on the banks but raised up in the middle of the sea.

And so they came hurrying at dawn and among them first

Breadmuncher rose enraged over his son to make this speech:

“Friends, even if I alone suffered these many evils from the frogs,

it would still be a vile crime against us all.

I am wretched because I have lost three children:

a most hateful weasel snatched up the first and killed him

as she dragged him from his hole.

Harsh men dragged the second to his doom

once they designed a wooded trick with their newfangled arts—

that thing they call the trap, the destroyer of mice.

[A mouse-eating great beast made my first son into dinner

as he chanced upon him spinning on his fat heel.]

The third was beloved to me and his prized mother,

Bellowmouth drowned him once he dragged him to the deep.

Come, let us arm ourselves and go out to face them

once we’ve arrayed our bodies in our well-worked arms.”

In saying this, he persuaded everyone to arm themselves;

and so, Ares who loves war armed them.

First, they fit their greaves to their two legs,

after breaking some pale beans and fitting them well,

beans they nibbled clean by working on them all night.

They had chestpieces made of reed-bound hides

which they made skillfully after flaying a weasel.

Their shield was the middle-section of a lamp. And their spear

was a well-measured needle, a completely bronze work of Ares.

The helmet on their temples was the husk of chick pea.

And this is the way the mice were armed. When the frogs noticed

they rose up from the water: and once they gathered in the same place

they summoned a council for wicked war.

While they were examining the conflict and noise,

a herald approached carrying a staff in his hand:

Bowldiver, the son of great-hearted Cheeseborer,

in announcing the evil report of war said these kind of things: