“She doesn’t care,” Molly repeats. “Trying to drag empathy out of Rose is like hoping a dictator softens up on their own. Hoping for it will only hurt you more in the long run.”

I think about how weirdly calm and detached Rose has been. Ignoring me, looking past me, the way she shut down when I ended things with her in that eerily calm way. I can see why Molly feels the way she does, I really do. And Molly’s known Rose basically her whole life, so maybe she’s right, and I’m wrong.

But Rose smoked weed a few weeks ago after promising she wouldn’t anymore. And Rose has thrown herself into whatever this thing is with Alfie. And Rose barely took her eyes off me just now while she pressed right up against him. I’m not arguing Rose is being saintly here. But is she uninterested? Unaffected? Totally fine? I find that hard to believe.

Also, something’s been bugging me. A memory of mine.

“I’ve told you how I was bullied last year,” I say. “It went on for a while. At first I cried, a lot. But one day I stopped crying. It’s like I used up all my tears and I just felt numb for a long time. I went inside myself. It helped me get through the worst of the bullying, but it also meant it took my mom ages to figure out I needed help. Because I looked like I was doing okay.”

Molly sighs. “I see where you’re going with this, but—”

“I don’t think she acts okay because she is okay,” I cut her off. “I think she acts like this when she isn’t.”

Molly gives me a pitying look, which, to be honest, I resent a little. “Are you sure that’s not just what you want to believe?” she asks.

I stare her down. “Maybe,” I say. “But are you sure you haven’t been too hard on her?”

She blinks fast in a way that tells me I hit a nerve. I guess it’s the first time I’ve given Molly any real opinion on their fight, other than listening to her and telling her I hear where she’s coming from. But that’s the thing. I do hear where she’s coming from. And what I’m hearing is, maybe she assigned one meaning to Rose’s behavior when the truth is something different altogether. If Molly doesn’t want to be Rose’s friend for fair reasons, then that’s fine. But if Molly just doesn’t understand what’s going on with Rose, then I can’t stay out of it. It’s Rose. If she needs me to have her back when she’s not here to stick up for herself, then that’s what’s going to happen. Every time. Over and over again, if I have to.