BooksBarbecue
Back Nobody in Particular
Chapters (61)
  1. Copyright Notice
  2. Dedication
  3. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  4. ONE DANNI
  5. TWO ROSE
  6. THREE DANNI
  7. FOUR DANNI
  8. FIVE ROSE
  9. SIX ROSE
  10. SEVEN DANNI
  11. EIGHT ROSE
  12. NINE DANNI
  13. TEN ROSE
  14. ELEVEN ROSE
  15. TWELVE ROSE
  16. THIRTEEN ROSE
  17. FOURTEEN DANNI
  18. FIFTEEN DANNI
  19. SIXTEEN ROSE
  20. SEVENTEEN DANNI
  21. EIGHTEEN ROSE
  22. NINETEEN ROSE
  23. TWENTY DANNI
  24. TWENTY-ONE DANNI
  25. TWENTY-TWO DANNI
  26. TWENTY-THREE ROSE
  27. TWENTY-FOUR ROSE
  28. TWENTY-FIVE DANNI
  29. TWENTY-SIX ROSE
  30. TWENTY-SEVEN DANNI
  31. TWENTY-EIGHT ROSE
  32. TWENTY-NINE ROSE
  33. THIRTY DANNI
  34. THIRTY-ONE DANNI
  35. THIRTY-TWO ROSE
  36. THIRTY-THREE DANNI
  37. THIRTY-FOUR ROSE
  38. THIRTY-FIVE ROSE
  39. THIRTY-SIX DANNI
  40. THIRTY-SEVEN ROSE
  41. THIRTY-EIGHT DANNI
  42. THIRTY-NINE ROSE
  43. FORTY DANNI
  44. FORTY-ONE ROSE
  45. FORTY-TWO DANNI
  46. FORTY-THREE ROSE
  47. FORTY-FOUR DANNI
  48. FORTY-FIVE ROSE
  49. FORTY-SIX ROSE
  50. FORTY-SEVEN DANNI
  51. FORTY-EIGHT ROSE
  52. FORTY-NINE ROSE
  53. FIFTY ROSE
  54. FIFTY-ONE ROSE
  55. FIFTY-TWO DANNI
  56. EPILOGUE ROSE
  57. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  58. Also by Sophie Gonzales
  59. Praise Page
  60. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  61. Newsletter Sign-up

I have a near overwhelming urge to wipe my first kiss from my mouth. Somehow, I manage to keep my hands pinned to my sides, balled into tight fists. I want to tell him there won’t be a next time. I want to gently explain to him that I did not, in fact, mean to give the impression that I wanted to kiss him—that sometimes I drift off separately from my body, and it can result in intense staring and silence that is in no way intended to be romantic. That it’s not personal at all, only, I don’t like any boys, though I’m sure if I did I would like him kissing me perfectly well. Probably.

That I’ve been picturing my first kiss a lot lately, and I never wanted to give it to him.

But I do not, and cannot, tell him anything of the sort. So, I bury it until my breath is no longer trembling and my heart is no longer pounding and I can’t feel much of anything at all. Then, and only then, do I trust myself to smile—much more convincingly, now—and say, “Shall we head back inside?”

At least the rain has stopped, so I’m able to walk smoothly and calmly, head held high, as my photograph is taken a hundred times a second all the way back through the gardens and to the cathedral.

SEVENTEEN DANNI

I spend most of the evening staring at photos of Rose and Alfie.

She does really look in love. I’m so happy for her. I’m so fucking happy for her that I have to bite down hard on my fist to stop the tears of happiness from spilling over.

Once I’m sure I’ve read every article covering Rose and Alfie’s kiss that was posted today—which is super fun for me, especially when it comes to the articles that include toddler photos of the two of them, pointing out that they’re basically soulmates the whole country has expected would end up together—I try to comfort myself with the new episode of my current med drama fixation. When even that doesn’t work—which is kind of crazy, because the last episode ended with my favorite character getting in a car crash—I decide that it’s time for some piano practice. So, I get my stuff, stalk over to the ballroom, lift the piano lid, and slam my hands on the keys, filling the room with a burst of clashing notes.

I’m so. Goddamn. Thrilled.