“How so?” I ask as we enter the courtyard and pass the fountain. Icy water sprays us as we pass, and I wipe it off my cheek.

Molly slows down before we enter the dining hall. Clearly, she doesn’t want to say whatever she’s about to say while we’re surrounded by dozens of students. “Rose and Eleanor were friends in preschool, but Rose and I went to a different primary school to her. She came to Bramppath with us, but we didn’t really have anything to do with her. Then in third year, her mom cheated on her dad with Millicent Roper’s dad, and everyone found out about it and the whole grade iced Eleanor out. Anyway, Rose told them all to piss off, and I think people were too scared of getting on Rose’s bad side to keep being shitheads to Eleanor, so everything went back to normal. And that’s how we got to know Eleanor.”

I think of Rose, and how she told me she’s not a good person. I’m no psychologist, but she seems like a pretty good person to me. Sounds to me like she’s Eleanor’s Rachel, and Rachel is one of the very best people.

Alfie’s really lucky.

I feel weirdly conspicuous as we go into the dining room. Like all eyes are on us, even though I know that, in reality, literally no one’s noticed Molly and me come in. Rose is back from making out with Alfie, and she’s sitting with Eleanor, Florence, and Harriet at our table. None of them notice Molly and me at first.

Not until we grab our food and sit together at the empty end of a table on the other end of the hall, that is. Molly sits across from me with her back to them all, which means I can’t help noticing when Rose sees us. Can’t help seeing the hurt flash across her face, and the questioning look in her eyes as she locks onto me. Can’t help watching as she tells her table about us, and they all crane around in their chairs to see for themselves.

Rose’s expression stabs right through my chest, and guilt spills like ink all the way down to my stomach. As much as today has sucked for me, I didn’t want to hurt her back. Especially when she didn’t mean to hurt me. Probably has no idea she even has.

I’ll explain it to her as soon as dinner’s over, just so she doesn’t think I’m angry at her or anything.

And hey, if she’s still upset, I’m sure Alfie will be right there to comfort her.

EIGHTEEN ROSE

As I’m waiting crossed-legged on my bed to take a video call William has set up between my parents and me, Danni sends me a message: