She presses her fingertips to her temple. “What’s the point, then? If I know I’m not okay with being a secret forever, why would we even start anything at all?” She’s turning pink now—I suppose she hears the implication just as I do—but she continues. “I’m not saying we’re gonna marry one day. I know it’s early, and we’re not really anything right now. But what I’m saying is, if there is no possible way this can end happily, then I just … isn’t it smarter to end things now? Before one of us gets hurt?”

I think it’s a rhetorical question, but I ignore that. “No.”

“No?” she repeats dully. “Based on what?”

“Based on … the fact that I want to be with you. I don’t want this to end.”

“But it will end,” she points out. “It’s not like if we did happen to stay together indefinitely that I’d just get over it one day and be cool with my girlfriend hiding me in a room while she married someone else. I will never be cool with that, Rose.”

“So, let it end later, then.”

“Oh, yeah, great idea, let’s get emotionally invested in each other first, so it hurts even worse.”

“People break up all the time. Most relationships don’t last forever, but people start them anyway. What’s the difference?”

“Being in a relationship that doesn’t work out is life. Getting into a relationship you know won’t work is masochism.”

“But we’ll have now,” I say, leaning forward. “Danni, I want to be with you. Being around you makes everything feel good. It’s something wonderful. Isn’t it better to have something wonderful for a while, even if one day we have to say goodbye to it, than to never have it at all?”

I can tell from her expression that my words aren’t having nearly the impact I wanted them to, and I grow cold. Her eyes are glassy as she replies. “I want to be with you, too. I don’t want to end this. But we’ve barely started seeing each other, and the thought of going back to being friends hurts.”

“So we stay together.”

“It really goddamn hurts, Rose,” she says over me. “So, I can’t even imagine how much it’d hurt to do this later. I can’t do that to myself. I won’t. And you deserve someone who will stay.”

I don’t understand it. How did we get here? One moment we were talking about rumors and strangers, and suddenly, we’re over. Just like that. What did I say wrong? Can I take it back? Can we start this conversation over from the top? There has to be a way to fix this. She can’t really mean she doesn’t want to be with me anymore, can she?