I thought about how I actually felt, about what I’d learned through the meetings; how alcoholism is a sickness. That night, for some reason or another, Mum was sick, and it wasn’t a good situation for her, and I didn’t need to let it control me. And even though I couldn’t sing ‘Time After Time’ without crying, I was proud of myself for trying, and proud of my friends for helping me out.

‘Yes, I’m all right,’ I said, kind of laughing, wiping the tears from my face. I knew that Dad was sincere, that he wasn’t losing his temper about Mum not rocking up, that he was learning something from the meetings.

‘Are you okay, Caitlin?’ he asked her.

‘Yes,’ she said and squeezed my hand.

‘Well, let’s have a good night then, hey?’ Dad said. ‘Let’s enjoy the rest of the show and then we’ll take Nana for a meal or something.’

I caught my breath and let Jamie and my other friends give me a hug. And then I decided to stay, and enjoy the music, even if I couldn’t sing Mum to where I wanted her to be that night.

Dreams and hopes and promises are beautiful and dangerous things. I wanted Mum to be on top of her shit, and I wanted to be on top of my shit. I wanted to live in a world where people give me space to be who I am, to be able to enjoy my culture. It doesn’t seem like a big ask, but it’s the little things that hurt the most when they don’t come your way.

The following week was our basketball grand finals. When we were warming up for the biggest game of the year, I felt pretty relaxed – nervous but relaxed. I didn’t ask Mum to come to the finals, so I wasn’t worried about whether or not she would turn up.

I stood outside of the three-point arc putting up shots, knowing that I’d have the opportunity to try to sink a few during the game. As the stadium began to fill up, I could feel my adrenaline rising. I knew that we all had to play the game of our lives to win. Caroline came and joined me at the three-point arc to throw a few, and then we both saw Trent walk into the stadium. We looked at each other. I knew that like me, she felt very cautious. I thought that Trent would make his way to the benches but instead he walked directly towards us.

‘Hey,’ he said and Caroline and I both stood there with basketballs under our arms.

‘I want to say that I’m really sorry for what I did to you, and I hope you both have a great game.’

‘Do you mean it?’ Caroline asked.