I went back to putting together my presentation, trying to find an image of the shoes that were made for Patty Mills to celebrate Mabo Day. I was so revved up reading the story about Patty Mills, his coach and Eddie Mabo.

It made me think about all of the things my ancestors had gone through, like dealing with the first wave of colonists, the violence, dealing with diseases like smallpox, having children taken from them, and holding on to their dignity and culture when they were put in missions. I especially felt proud about how my people were rebuilding their lives and now we even had people like Patty Mills playing in the NBA. Thinking about these things made me even more determined to try to work through everything I was going through with Mum and Dad and Caitlin.

Dad came into my room, kissed me on the forehead and asked me if I wanted to help with dinner, like I had a choice or something. So I went in and helped Caitlin by throwing together a salad and making the dressing. While I worked, I thought about the types of kids that might go to a meeting to talk about their parents having alcohol problems. I imagined them being on struggle street, ordered by the court to get help with their anger management issues to save them from going into juvenile detention. Even thinking about going to the group that Caitlin had told me about made me feel sick.

During dinner, Mum sent me a message:

I knew that Mum only used words like grand when she was pissed, and I wondered if she really wanted to see me or if she thought asking me if I wanted to see her was the right thing to do.

I messaged back:

Dad and Caitlin were talking about some new film and wondered if I wanted to go but their discussion was all a blur as I thought about Mum, obviously still drinking despite all of the mess our lives were in.

I was set to head to Mum’s until Katie messaged me and asked if I wanted to stay over her place on Friday night as she was having a bit of a party. Why not? I thought, realising that I could stay at Katie’s on Friday night and Nana’s on Saturday night. I called Mum to let her know about the change in plans.

‘I was really looking forward to seeing you,’ Mum said.

‘Me too,’ I told her, ‘but I haven’t seen Jane and Katie for ages and I can see you on Saturday night.’

‘And I haven’t seen you in a while, sweetie. How about we have dinner with Nana and then you go to Katie’s?’

‘Deal,’ I told her, even knowing that it meant I’d get to Katie’s later than I really wanted.