“Germs could kill Jackie Macky!” shouted Miss Daisy.

Then she took a tissue, turned the doorknob with it, and went running out of the nurse’s office.

It was cool. And we got to see it live and in person with our own eyes.

Well, it would be weird to see it with somebody else’s eyes.

7. Germ Warfare

Miss Daisy wasn’t the only one who ran out of the nurse’s office. We all ran out of there.

“Run for your lives!” shouted Neil the nude kid. “The germs are everywhere!”

As we were running out of the nurse’s office, the lunch bell rang.

BRING! BRING! BRING!*

So we all ran to the vomitorium. It used to be called the cafetorium, but last year some first grader threw up in there, and it’s been the vomitorium ever since.

Ryan grabbed the last table that was empty. We all opened up our lunch boxes.

I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Alexia had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Neil had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Emily had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. In case you were wondering, we all had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

But nobody picked up their peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

“I’m not hungry,” I said.

“Me neither,” said Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that isn’t food. “Mrs. Cooney said that germs are everywhere.”

“Germs are crawling all over our sandwiches right now,” said Michael, closing his lunch box. “We can’t see them. And we can’t stop them.”

“The table has germs on it too,” said Andrea.

“Your face has germs on it,” I told Andrea.

“Everybody’s face has germs on it,” said Emily.

“Everything has germs on it,” said Neil.

“Everything is gross,” I said.

“I’m never going to eat anything ever again for the rest of my life,” said Ryan.

“Me neither,” said Michael.

So we all just sat there for a million hundred seconds. All the kids at the other tables were eating their lunch. I guess they didn’t know about germs.

That’s when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened. Ryan’s foot touched my foot.

“Ewww,” I told Ryan. “Move your foot. It has germs on it. I don’t want your germs!”

“Your elbow almost touched mine,” Neil told Alexia.

“I don’t want to touch you,” Alexia replied. “I’m never going to touch anything again.”

Nobody wanted to touch anything. I felt gross just sitting there with all those germs crawling all over me. It was the worst day of my life. I wanted to go to Antarctica and live with the penguins. I bet it’s so cold there that it kills all the germs.

And you’ll never believe who walked into the vomitorium at that moment.

It was Mrs. Cooney! She came right over to our table and put her hand on my shoulder.