Okay, okay, I’ll tell you. But you have to read the next chapter. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you.

2. Guess Who

It was Miss Daisy!

“Well, hello again, third graders!” she shouted.

If you read a book called Miss Daisy Is Crazy!, you know that Miss Daisy was our teacher last year, when we were in second grade. And if you didn’t read that book, well, you should really read that book right now.

Go ahead, read it. We’ll wait here.

So did you read it yet?

Anyway, Miss Daisy used to be our teacher. Then she went and got married to the reading specialist, Mr. Macky. Then they had a baby girl named Jackie Macky. Miss Daisy took time off from teaching to take care of the baby. And now she was back as a substitute teacher.

We all ran over and hugged her.

“Miss Daisy!” shouted Emily.

“Miss Daisy!” shouted Ryan.

“Miss Daisy!” shouted Neil.

In case you were wondering, everybody was shouting, “Miss Daisy!”

“Her name isn’t Miss Daisy anymore,” said Andrea. “Now it’s Mrs. Daisy, right?”

Oh, yeah. When women get married, they change their name from Miss to Mrs. Nobody knows why.

“You can call me whatever you like,” said Miss Daisy. “Not all women change their name. Some of them keep their old name. And some of them put ‘Ms.’ in front of their name.”

That’s weird. Women should make up their mind. But Miss Daisy will always be Miss Daisy to me.

“I have to go to a meeting,” said Mr. Klutz, who’s always going to meetings. “I’ll be back in a little while to see how you’re making out.”

Ugh, disgusting! I’m not making out with anybody.

Miss Daisy took off her coat and hung it in the cloakroom.

“I missed you kids so much!” she told us. “You’re getting to be so big.”

“We missed you, too,” said Andrea, who is a big brownnoser. “How is your baby, Jackie Macky?”

Miss Daisy took out her purse and showed us about a million hundred baby pictures.

“Awwwww . . .”

“She’s cute!”

“She’s adorable!”

All the girls were oohing and ahhing over the pictures. Sheesh, it was just a baby! They were acting like Jackie Macky was the first baby born in the history of the world.

“Don’t you think Jackie Macky is cute, Arlo?” Andrea asked me.

“She looks like Winston Churchill,” I replied.

I saw some old guy on TV named Winston Churchill. He looked like a big baby. That’s when I realized something. All babies look like Winston Churchill.

“Can she walk?” asked Michael.

“No,” said Miss Daisy.

“Can she talk?” asked Neil the nude kid.

“No,” said Miss Daisy.

“So what good is she?” I asked.

“Arlo!” said Andrea. “That’s mean!”