“What are germs?” asked Miss Daisy, who doesn’t know anything.

“Germs are tiny invaders that can make you sick,” Mrs. Cooney said. “You can’t see them with your naked eye.”

Everybody started giggling because Mrs. Cooney said the word “naked.” Any time anybody ever says “naked,” you have to start giggling. That’s the first rule of being a kid.

“Aren’t all eyes naked?” I asked. “I never saw an eyeball with clothes on.”

Everybody laughed even though I didn’t say anything funny.

“You need a microscope to see germs,” said Mrs. Cooney. “Germs are so small, if you lined up a thousand of them end to end, they could fit across a pencil eraser.”

“WOW,” we all said, which is “MOM” upside down.

Mrs. Cooney showed us some pictures of scary-looking germs.

“Think about all the things you touched today,” she said. “It’s easy for a germ on your hand to end up in your mouth or nose. They creep into our bodies, and we don’t notice them. Right now there are ninety trillion microbes inside you.”

“Gross!” we all said.

“I’m scared,” said Emily, who’s scared of everything.

“So washing our hands kills the germs, right?” asked Miss Daisy.

“Not exactly,” Mrs. Cooney replied. “Plain old soap doesn’t kill germs. It just lifts them off your skin so they can be washed away. We can get rid of some of the germs but not all of them. And germs multiply very quickly.”

Miss Daisy looked really nervous. I thought she might even start to cry.

“Do . . . babies . . . have germs?” she asked.

“Oh yes, babies probably have more germs than anybody,” said Mrs. Cooney. “Especially babies who like to put their hands in their mouth.”

“Jackie Macky sticks her hands in her mouth all the time!” shouted Miss Daisy.

“Germs can cause infections,” explained Mrs. Cooney. “They can give you sore throats, chicken pox, measles, flu, and lots of other dangerous diseases that can even kill you.”

“KILL YOU?” shouted Miss Daisy. She was totally freaking out.

“I don’t mean to suggest—”

But Mrs. Cooney didn’t have the chance to finish her sentence. Miss Daisy had jumped off the bench and was heading for the door.

“Are there germs on this doorknob?” she shouted.

“Yes, absolutely,” said Mrs. Cooney.

“Kids! Don’t touch that doorknob!” shouted Miss Daisy. “Are germs on that chair?”

“Sure.”

“Are germs in my hair?” shouted Miss Daisy.

“Yes, definitely,” Mrs. Cooney replied. “They’re even floating in the air.”

“EEEEK!” shouted Miss Daisy, swatting at some invisible germs. “The germs are in the air! They’re on the chair! They’re in my hair! They’re everywhere!”

“We’ve got to do something!” shouted Emily.

“Don’t touch anything!” shouted Miss Daisy.

“We’re all going to die!” I shouted.

Everybody started yelling and screaming and shrieking and hooting and hollering and freaking out again—again.