“Wow, look at the time,” Mr. Macky said as he pointed to the clock on the wall. “I’d really like to answer those questions for you, but I’ve got to go . . . uh . . . to a meeting. Yes, that’s it. I have a meeting.”

Boy, grown-ups sure have a lot of meetings. They meet all the time.

“Mr. Macky, why are boxing rings square?” asked Neil the nude kid. “If they’re rings, they should be round.”

“How come we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?” asked Michael.

“Why is there no ham in a hamburger and no dog in a hot dog?” asked Ryan.

“How come our noses run and our feet smell?” I asked. “Shouldn’t our feet run and our noses smell?”

“Well, this has really been fun,” said Mr. Macky as he backed out the doorway. “But I’ve got to get to that meeting.”

“Bye, sweetie pie,” said Miss Daisy, running over to him.

“Bye, honey bun,” said Mr. Macky.

“I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll see you sooner.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Yuck! Gross! They hugged and kissed some more. That lovey-dovey stuff made me want to barf. All the girls were oohing and ahhing. All of us guys were gagging and choking and falling off our chairs.

It occurred to me that just like Miss Daisy, Mr. Macky doesn’t know anything either! No wonder they got married to each other.

“How can you and Mr. Macky be teachers if you don’t know anything?” I asked.

“We figured that kids your age don’t know very much yet,” Miss Daisy replied. “So it wouldn’t matter whether or not we know anything. Please don’t tell Mr. Klutz. If he finds out we don’t know anything, he’ll fire us.”

“My lips are sealed,” I told her.

But not with glue or anything. That would be weird.

A few seconds later, guess who came back into our room. It was Mr. Klutz.

“So how are you kids making out with Miss Daisy?” he asked.

“Ugh, gross!” Ryan said. “We’re not making out with Miss Daisy.”

“But Mr. Macky was,” Ryan told him. “They were slobbering all over each other.”

“Did Miss Daisy and Mr. Macky teach you all kinds of new things?” asked Mr. Klutz.

“Oh, yeah!” I lied. “They know lots of stuff. They’re great teachers.”

5. My Brain Explodes

After Mr. Klutz left, Miss Daisy suggested that we have another indoor recess and eat more bonbons. But we were all sick of indoor recess and eating bonbons.

“Can we go out to the playground?” asked Neil.

“No,” said Miss Daisy.

“Can we play a game?” asked Alexia.

“No,” said Miss Daisy.

“Can I look things up on my smartphone?” asked Andrea.

“No,” said Miss Daisy. “Say, I have an idea. Let’s make get well cards for Mr. Cooper!”

“Yeah!” everybody shouted.