Miss Daisy should get the Nobel Prize for that idea.*

Making get well cards is fun. Miss Daisy went to the closet and got some colored paper, crayons, glue sticks, and scissors. She said I could be the paper passer. Ryan was the crayon carrier. Michael was the glue guy. Miss Daisy handled the scissors.

After everybody had their supplies, we got to work on our cards. Miss Daisy said we could write anything we wanted as long as we told Mr. Cooper that we hoped he felt better soon.

“I’m going to draw a picture of butterflies flying over a rainbow on my get well card,” said Andrea. “That will cheer up Mr. Cooper.”

“Good idea!” said Emily, who thinks all Andrea’s ideas are good ideas.

“I’m going to make a picture of a football player,” said Neil. “Mr. Cooper likes football, so that will make him feel better.”

I thought about what I was going to make for my card. What do you say to somebody who has an ingrown toenail? I wasn’t coming up with any good ideas. I thought and thought for a million hundred minutes. I thought so hard that I felt like my brain was going to explode.

I looked around. Everybody else was busy writing messages and drawing and cutting out pictures to put on their cards.

“Five more minutes,” said Miss Daisy. “Let’s finish up our get well cards.”

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. I had to think fast. Finally I got an idea and wrote it on my piece of paper. . . .

Dear Mr. Cooper,

I heard you have an ingrown toenail. I hope it doesn’t grow so long that it sticks out of your head and you die. I know that’s never happened before, but there’s always a first time.

Your favorite student,

A.J.

Miss Daisy told us to pass our get well cards to the front of the class. I passed mine up to Andrea.

“Arlo!” she said after looking at my card. “That’s not a nice thing to write!”

“Why not?” I asked her. “It’s the truth. Should I write that I hope Mr. Cooper’s toenail sticks out of his head and kills him?”

Andrea just rolled her eyes at me. She’s always rolling her eyes at me. I hope she rolls her eyes so much that her eyes roll right out of her head.

6. Don’t Touch Anything!

After we finished making our cards, Miss Daisy sang the clean-up song. It goes like this. . . .

Clean up! Clean up!

Everybody everywhere.

Clean up! Clean up!

Everybody, do your share.

That song is lame. Of course, the guys and me always change the words. . . .

Clean up! Clean up!

Everybody everywhere.

Clean up! Clean up!

Even in your underwear.