I was keeping Ma company because she wasn’t sleepy, or so she claimed. Since she slept so much during the day, sometimes she was awake at odd hours and usually she got hold of either Aunty V or Papa to hang out with her. Papa had a late business meeting and Aunty V was suffering from menstrual cramps, so she had gone off to lie down for a bit.

‘Why is it that women get menstrual cramps even in their forties?’ I asked Ma. ‘Shouldn’t that stuff be over by now?’

Ma paused the TV. ‘Nothing really changes as you grow older, Ananya. If anything, it all just gets worse.’

Wow. Lead me down the dark path, Ma, I thought, but didn’t say anything to her.

Aunty V and I hadn’t talked again, but every time I saw her, she smiled at me. There was a look of empathy on her face that, for some reason, made it a little easier to look at myself in the mirror without cringing. She didn’t stop sending links, but I didn’t delete them. I opened and read every one of them. The words were soothing. The outcome was possible. The stories made me want to believe, even as I struggled with it.

The episode we were watching ended. The next one was about to start when Raghu came in. Papa had given him a key when he was here the last time.

My chest contracted and it felt like my heart had skipped a beat. I glanced at him, my mouth dry, and looked away just as quickly before our eyes could connect.

He looked tired and his face was drawn. ‘Hi!’ he addressed no one in particular.

‘Hey, so nice to see you, Raghu. How have you been?’ Ma asked, her face brightening up.

I looked up at him then because it was getting too difficult to not look at him. It was like there was something magnetic about him pulling my gaze towards his, and then I realized that he was looking at me too.

He smiled and I smiled back.

I looked down at my feet, wishing I’d bothered to change into something nicer. But why? We were just friends, right? And Ma would have wondered why I was taking trouble over my appearance, this late in the night.

‘I’ve been good. Tired of studying. Don’t want to look at another book now. Where’s Mom?’ he asked.

‘Lying down in bed. Not well,’ Ma said, almost apologetically. ‘Come join us? Unless of course you’re tired, which I’m guessing you must be. What about something to eat?’

He shrugged. ‘I’m cool. Give me fifteen minutes. I’ll take a shower and come back and maybe grab something to eat from the kitchen,’ he said and walked off to the room he was sharing with Aunty V.