Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad. I realized I had been so worried about Aunty V and Raghu that I had stopped worrying about the baby that was going to change our lives. I didn’t know which was worse.

Ma and Papa were talking softly when I left. Once college began, I would get busy and it was a good thing if someone else was there for Ma, to be with her at home.

I lay down on the bed and opened Instagram. Despite knowing this was a bad idea, I looked up Raghu’s profile. I frowned when I saw that his Instagram was private. Since I wasn’t following him, I couldn’t see anything. Even his profile picture didn’t reveal much. It was him looking out at the setting sun and his face was in the shadows. I didn’t send him a follow request.

I looked him up on Facebook then. Here, too, everything was private. And we obviously weren’t friends. Why I was doing this to myself? After all, hadn’t I blocked him on Facebook some years ago? I decided to push him out of my mind.

I texted Nisha with the new updates and she called me back immediately.

‘This sucks,’ I told her.

She was silent for a bit. ‘I know. But he’s not going to be around. Just focus on your mother,’ she said finally.

I rolled my eyes. ‘Yes, mom,’ I told her.

‘Listen, don’t get worked up over nothing,’ she told me. Sometimes, I really didn’t know how she got to be so wise. Or did she just say these platitudes because they were easy?

‘Fine,’ I told her, exasperated.

‘And . . . it was so many years ago, Ananya. Maybe you should just forgive him and move on,’ she said, haltingly.

‘I’ve moved on,’ I told her tightly. ‘And you’re making it sound like he was my boyfriend.’

‘No. But he was one of your best friends,’ she reminded me gently.

‘Whatever,’ I told her and hung up.

I decided to take a nap to take my mind off everything. But my mind could not stop reliving my humiliation from five years ago.

4

Five years ago

I came back from school, washed up and went looking for Ma. Knowing that she was probably in the kitchen, I walked in and stopped short when I realized that she wasn’t alone. She was busy talking to Aunty V as she made a sandwich. Aunty V was sniffling and saying something. I felt like I had interrupted something. They both turned to face me and Aunty V wiped her eyes and smiled at me.

‘Hey Ananya! When did you come home?’ she asked me. Her voice sounded shaky.

‘Just now. But when did you come to Bangalore?’ I asked her as I edged myself on to the chair near the kitchen island.