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Chapters (42)
  1. Cover
  2. Andaleeb Wajid
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. 3
  6. 4
  7. 5
  8. 6
  9. 7
  10. 8
  11. 9
  12. 10
  13. 11
  14. 12
  15. 13
  16. 14
  17. 15
  18. 16
  19. 17
  20. 18
  21. 19
  22. 20
  23. 21
  24. 22
  25. 23
  26. 24
  27. 25
  28. 26
  29. 27
  30. 28
  31. 29
  32. 30
  33. 31
  34. 32
  35. 33
  36. 34
  37. 35
  38. 36
  39. 37
  40. 38
  41. Epilogue
  42. THE BEGINNING

‘My parents aren’t too concerned right now,’ the words slipped out before I realized what I was saying.

‘Really?’ he sounded surprised.

‘No, I meant . . . they’re just worried with the baby coming and everything. They’ve left this to me. So maybe I’ll take some time to decide what I want too!’ The plan made me feel relieved and a little anxious at the same time. I wasn’t sure how they would take it when I told them that I wanted to take a year off like Raghu had done.

‘Hey, listen. Um, you should make this decision after talking to them. I don’t want Aunty and Uncle to blame me for putting the idea into your head.’

‘No, don’t worry. I won’t bring you into it,’ I assured him.

‘Okay, but remember, a gap year isn’t just for taking off time. You have to use that time to figure out all your shit.’

‘Like you did?’ I asked, feeling a little curious, a little sad that I’d distanced myself so much from him these past few years, I had no clue what had been going on with him.

‘Yeah. It took me a while, but I did. And until I started working in that restaurant in Bangalore, I hadn’t really understood how much I wanted to do this,’ he said. I could sense the smile in his voice.

‘That’s nice. I’m happy for you, Raghu,’ I said, feeling genuinely happy him, and for people like Nisha and Anirudh who knew what they wanted from their lives.

‘Thanks,’ he said. He added, ‘I can’t wait to see you . . . guys. Soon.’

My heart squeezed in my chest. For a second there, it had almost sounded like he said he couldn’t wait to see me.

‘Me too,’ I replied because he was waiting for me to speak.

I glanced up at the calendar that hung on my wall as we said our byes and ended the call.

I couldn’t wait for him to get back, even though I kept reminding myself of how he’d frozen up when I’d asked if he was flirting with me. He needn’t know that he was way too special to be just my friend.

30

I got 82 per cent, which was neither here nor there. College cut offs for B. Com were all above 95 per cent, so I was grateful that was not what I had wanted to do.

I sat down with my parents and spoke to them about my plans for taking a gap year.

I sat on their bed and told them that I couldn’t make up my mind. That I needed more time to figure out what I wanted to do.

‘So you’re telling us now? But how can you waste your time like this?’ Ma asked.