Papa was sitting in the garden, checking something on his phone while Ma and Aunty V were catching up with their old classmates. I could see some of the action from the kitchen window that looked out to a part of the garden.

Raghu and I finally finished working in the kitchen. Ma wanted me to come and meet her friends, but I had to take another shower and get dressed before that.

‘You’re also coming to meet them, right?’ I asked him, as I dusted my palms and put away things we’d used.

‘No way,’ he replied. ‘I’m going to crash. I haven’t slept this early since I started helping at the restaurant.’

My stomach plummeted in disappointment. ‘But what about dinner?’ I asked.

‘Not hungry. I’ll come and grab something from the kitchen later,’ he said, waving at me as he headed off to the guest room.

I stood there for a few seconds, as he disappeared from view. I rubbed my face. I was being stupid. I had a life of my own. Raghu would go back to Mumbai. I had to get used to him not being around, I thought. But at the same time, I didn’t want to spend time with these aunties and uncles who were chattering away outside with Ma and Aunty V if Raghu wasn’t there.

I had to at least say hi to them, I thought despondently. Ma wouldn’t like it if I decided not to show up.

I went to my room, took a quick shower, and searched my wardrobe for something to wear. My eyes fell on the green dress I had got for my birthday. It wasn’t too dressy but it was sort of formal-ish and Ma had liked it when I had worn it.

I slipped the dress over my head and I winced when I realized it was tighter than it had been that day. My eyes filled up with tears and I sat on the bed and took a deep breath.

I forced myself to look in the mirror. This was what Raghu saw when he saw me. My fat arms, my thick ankles, my sturdy calves. But he wasn’t going to be there, was he? He said he was going to sleep. I sucked my stomach in and wiped the tears from my face.

Then, almost mechanically, I put on some make up, because I’d found that if I made the effort to look pretty, people tended not to notice my body. I brushed my hair out over my shoulders. I debated whether to wear a stole and decided not to. I had looked ridiculous on my birthday and I would look even more so now, because it was so hot outside.

I tried to ignore the nervousness and anxiety that roiled inside me. Fat Ananya, the voice whispered and I shushed it.