‘Chitra, wait, okay? We just arrived. Let her take a breather,’ Aunty V said.

‘She’s been breathing all this while,’ Ma replied tartly.

I didn’t know if Raghu was observing this exchange but I got up from there, angrily. ‘I’ll bake them,’ I bit out the words. Even if it kills me, I thought.

‘Good. I’m hungry.’

I stared back at Ma, wondering how she could make me bake. We had never talked about why I had stopped doing the things I loved. Why I had switched to a strict regimen of salads and why I flinched at the sight of anything with chocolate in it. Maybe if I had continued with the psychiatrist, things would have been different. I’d still be Fat Ananya, I reminded myself bitterly.

‘Raghu, why don’t you go with her?’ Aunty V suggested.

‘No need, Aunty V. You guys just arrived. You must be tired.’ I almost tripped over their legs in my hurry to leave.

‘Not at all. I’ll come!’ Raghu said, unfolding his long legs and getting up from there. I still couldn’t bring myself to see his face so I walked away. I was going to pretend he wasn’t with me.

We left the house and walked towards the baking supplies store that had opened up near my house recently. I did not look at him. I had seen the shop only in passing. I hadn’t even been vaguely tempted to go inside. Five years ago, I would have squealed in delight at having a store like this so close to home.

Inside the store, familiar smells and sights assaulted my senses. Rows upon rows of chocolate slabs, packets of chocolate chips, jars of hazelnut paste and hundreds of cupcake liners. I was in heaven and hell at the same time.

I sensed Raghu beside me, reaching out to take something from a shelf.

‘Don’t you need this?’ he asked, handing me a packet of demerara sugar.

‘Yes.’ I took it from his hand. His voice had changed—it was deeper and stronger. I was tempted to look at him but I kept moving down the aisle.

I picked up all the items I needed from memory, walked to the billing counter and paid for the purchases. Before I could take the bag from the shopkeeper, Raghu had taken it.

We turned towards the house, with me still pretending he was not there, though he matched his strides with mine.

‘How have you been?’ he asked.

‘Good,’ I replied.

‘Ananya, aren’t you ever going to look at me?’ he asked, sounding almost puzzled.

I shrugged. It would hurt too much, I wanted to say.

‘I don’t know what you’re saying,’ I told him instead and continued walking doggedly.

He stepped in front of me and I almost walked into his solid chest.