I shrugged and rushed to my room, shut the door and bolt it. My back hurt a little but I ignored the pain as Esha and Tara’s voices floated back to me. Without thinking of what I was doing, I stripped down to my underwear and turned to the mirror to look at myself. My mouth dropped open in shock when I realized that Esha and Tara had been right.

I looked disgusting.

These rolls of fat on my stomach, my chubby arms, my thick ankles. Even my neck was fat, I thought. Dismay grew sharply inside me as I saw myself for the first time as others saw me. No wonder they had said those mean things.

Until this moment, I had never been seriously bothered that I was fat. I loved food and I loved to eat, and my parents had never stopped me from eating what I wanted. In school, I had heard the odd joke now and then, calling me ‘fatso’ or ‘moti’ and although the words hurt me, it had been for a passing moment and I had let them bounce off me.

I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror any longer. Taking a deep breath, I walked away and sat down on the bed, still in my underwear. I hated my body. I pinched my rubbery thighs, my non-existent waist and looked down at the fat hanging from my arms. I was truly disgusting. I deserved to be laughed at. Everything that Esha and Tara had said about me was true.

Fat bitch.
Ugly cow.
Ms Piggy.

I was not just Ananya Kapoor any longer. I was Fat Ananya. This was how people probably referred to me. My fatness eclipsed everything else about me. It wasn’t like I was very talented to begin with. The only thing I was good at was . . . baking.

Breathing heavily, I got off the bed and wore my clothes quietly. Baking cookies and cakes and eating them as they emerged warm from the oven was my favourite thing to do. And that was the reason I was like this.

How could my parents have let this happen? Shouldn’t they have warned me, told me to watch my weight? Shouldn’t they have been concerned that each day I was growing bigger, my tummy was getting larger?

How could they even bear to look at me?

How could they love me?

My throat felt tight with unshed tears. Food was my enemy. My body was my enemy. Hate, strong and fast, built up inside me, forcing out all other thoughts from my head. Esha had assessed me correctly but she was still mean, I decided. Her only motivation for inviting me to the party had been to get Raghu to come. My face blanched when I thought of Raghu hearing them speak about me like that and, of course, the disastrous moment when he had pulled me out.