I wore jeans and a top. I looked at all my clothes in my wardrobe. Almost all of them were loose tees and jeans. Esha would probably be wearing a pretty dress—something I didn’t own because I had never really thought of wearing anything like that before. I wondered if the next time we went shopping, I should buy something dressier. I shut my wardrobe door and went outside looking for Raghu.

‘Oh, he left already,’ Ma informed me. Aunty V was not at home. She had gone out to buy a few things to take back to Mumbai.

‘He left for the party?’ I was taken aback. I hadn’t discussed it with him, but I assumed that we would go together.

Ma shrugged and went back to watching TV.

I picked up the box and then reached the door and stopped.

‘Ma?’

‘Yes, Ananya?’ she asked, not looking away from the TV.

‘Do I look nice?’

She turned to me and smiled. ‘Of course. You always look nice!’ she said.

Somehow, her words didn’t make me feel better. I took a deep breath and left the apartment, deciding to take the lift downstairs. The party was in the clubhouse, adjacent to our building. I held on to the box lightly for fear of crushing the brownies but I actually wanted to clutch it to myself.

Loud music streamed out from the clubhouse and I walked up to the door, feeling anxious. It would have been so much better if Raghu had been with me. We’d have been chatting and laughing and I wouldn’t have felt this nervous. I had a sudden fear that I would step inside and people would stop doing everything and look at me and then laugh.

That was silly, I told myself. The clubhouse door was open and I walked inside, pasting a smile on to my face. It was going to be fine.

The clubhouse had been decorated excessively for the party. There were streamers and balloons everywhere and the music system was loudly blaring some Bollywood song. I looked around, trying to spot familiar faces.

I wasn’t too social with the other kids in the building and didn’t go down to play with anyone. So I just knew their faces, not most of their names. I was glad no one had noticed me coming inside.

I looked around for Esha so I could give her the gift. She was standing by one of the tables, talking to someone else.

She looked amazing. She was wearing a long gown-like dress in pale yellow and her long shiny hair reached her waist. She was giggling with her friend Tara. Both girls turned slightly and Esha nodded towards her left.

Ah. Raghu was on one of the chairs in a corner, still busy with Aunty V’s phone. They had been talking about him.