In return, I try to help Ms. Chang and her husband by quelling their anxieties about their kid, who just started as a spring admit at USC. Funnily enough, I went to their rival school. But whenever we sit down together for dinner, I answer whatever questions the nervous parents—or sometimes their daughter herself through WeChat—have about college and living in LA, in general. It’s the kind of serendipitous and comforting connection with strangers that I didn’t know I needed until now.

Meanwhile at work, after a few more rounds of revisions with Evelyn, our project gets finalized as Horizon’s cover story for February. I want to share the good news with Celeste, but I don’t, respecting her decision to go silent on me. I’m sure she’ll find out about it, sooner or later.

All in all, it really does seem like I left last year’s bad energy behind, because everything in my life goes smoothly for once. The only times I don’t feel okay are at night, in the quiet hours when I’m alone in my bed and acutely aware of my every breath.

In these dark moments, every single thought threatens to swallow me whole, like a thick, suffocating blanket. I wonder if I’ll ever stop missing Celeste, if I’ll ever be okay with being by myself.

Upon its release on Valentine’s Day, the online version of “Modern Love in Focus,” along with the corresponding interview videos, gets a record number of clicks. Print sales also skyrocket, with countless people buying the printed issue as a keepsake, thanks to Celeste’s gorgeous photos.

People tag Celeste and me on Instagram, making posts and stories about how they could relate to different interviews. I try to reshare every story I see, and when I see Celeste’s icon appear under the list of people who’ve seen my stories, I feel a sense of comfort knowing that, on some level, she’s still there, even while she’s keeping her distance.

The most popular interview so far is Brent and Aaron’s, which is to be expected because of Brent’s massive social media following. But Keiko and Nat’s also makes the rounds, with many other queer women posting excerpts from their interview.

I’ve literally never seen an older sapphic couple interviewed like this before, someone says in the comments. This is such important representation in a day and age when the portrayal of queer elders, especially people of color, is so rare!

A few other people on social media mention they’ve followed Dear Karl for a while, sending heart emojis our way and recalling specific instances the other writers and I have helped them over the years. All in all, most of the feedback seems to be positive.