I frown. Her words are innocuous, and in any other context, I would have smiled and said, “Sure.” But here, at this very moment, my heart drops. I’m not here, sitting on the couch with my arms wrapped around Celeste as she cries, just to try to “cheer her up.” I’m here because of something far more than that. Because I want something more than that. Before I can stop myself, I blurt out, “Celeste… what you said about Nat and Keiko… what’s to say that we can’t have that? Why can’t that be us, too?”

She stiffens, the smile freezing on her lips.

My shoulders drop, but I forge on. “I know you’re scared that we won’t work out. And I know it seems like we can’t have what they have, that we can’t have a happy ending of our own, especially because of our past. But it’s been eight years since all that shit happened. You’re here now, older and wiser, and so am I. Isn’t that all that matters? Why can’t we try again?”

Celeste stares at me like I’ve sprouted another head. “Gem,” she says quietly. “I thought we agreed to keep things casual.”

Frustration builds up inside me as I gesture at her and me. “Does any of this feel casual to you?” I ask, my voice coming out louder than I intended. “Because, in retrospect, none of what we did together in the past month or so feels that casual to me, regardless of what we called it.”

She closes her eyes briefly, wincing as if in real physical pain. Her voice is low and flat as she replies, “You told me yourself… less than two weeks ago, that you’re not looking to seriously date anyone right now. Didn’t your engagement end in November? And you were with him for, what, seven years?”

“Well, yeah, but he moved on quickly, too. And—”

“If it takes you two months to move on from someone you were engaged to… wow, it must have taken you a week to get over me.”

I flinch, like she’s slapped me across the face. But the sting of her words is worse than any physical pain I’ve ever experienced. “It was a few months, and I already apologized to you for that.”

But Celeste is relentless. She pulls away from me and sits with her legs folded against her chest. “When’s the last time you’ve been single, Gem?” she asks, staring right into my eyes. “Really.”

I open my mouth to answer her. But my thoughts grind to a halt. I realize I can’t remember the last time I was completely single. Before I even met Celeste, I went out with a few guys from school here and there. And after her, well…