I shove him off, scoffing, and head back toward Lottie’s room, a girlish shriek wafting over the music.

*   *   *

There’s some kind of big hockey game tonight. I’m not into hockey, and our town is on a decade-long losing streak, but games are shorthand for partying for high-schoolers from everything I’ve learned from movies, and I guess we’re no different. Aidan sends a group text telling everyone that we’re going to “pre” at his house before we go to the arena.

In homeroom, I look over at Paige, who’s on her phone under her desk. I think about the game, and text her:

You going to Aidans? I mean obvs but just making sure

She sends a thumbs-up emoji.

I ask: Go together?

Sure lottie and i will grab u on the way

My stomach clenches in a jealous little knot, but I untangle it and send a thumbs-up back her way.

My mind is all over the place. I keep trying to find my way into these friendships—new, old, anything—but I meet roadblocks everywhere. Rhonda calls me a space cadet, but there is something of a look of concern on her face. I laugh and apologize, tuning back in. I look at Paige, her head bent in concentration, texting, but not to me.

*   *   *

I walk home with Lottie, and it feels weird again. She’s quiet.

“You okay?” I venture, looking sideways at her as we walk.

“Hmm?” She smiles. “Oh yeah, sure.”

She is silent the rest of the way home. Before long we’re at her house, and I walk up the driveway with her by instinct, and we flop into the chairs on the porch.

“So,” I try, “What’s up here? Like, with your mom.”

Lottie laughs, darkly, then heaves a sigh. “Well …” She looks at me, like she’s deciding if she should go on, and then does. “Don’t freak out, Stevie. I mean, I know how you can get.”

“Okay,” I say, agreeing to anything, not knowing what she means.

“Well … the latest is my mom claiming that she wants to ‘transition.’”

“Transition? Like, become a man?” My mind races. What does that mean? How will that change things? I think of the bed in the spare room; maybe I don’t know Rhonda as well as I thought I did.

“Yes. Yes, a man. Like she didn’t just drop a huge bomb on us, she needed to do this, too.”

“Oh my God, seriously?” Will she still be the same at all?

“Yes. Seriously.”

“Why? I mean, like, what’d she say? When did she tell you?”

“I think a few days ago? I don’t even know. It’s just been crazy around here.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” But also, why didn’t Rhonda tell me? My chest feels tight.