Chapter 24

I’m going to a party. I don’t go to a lot of parties, but (a) I will take any opportunity to get out of the house that I can, and (b) I was invited, and since am not usually invited, I am game.

The party is at Sienna Martin’s house, tomorrow, Thursday night. It’s some end-of-the-year thing since we’re headed into summer vacation. I hardly know Sienna Martin, but I mean, she seems pretty nice. We went to elementary school together. She used to chew her braids. Now she’s kind of a pothead, her eyes always sleepy, her hair in a tangled bun on top of her head. Lately I’ve been looking at people like Sienna and thinking, “Is everything okay at home?” like Pete said to me. Is everything okay at this person’s home? Or that person’s? It looks like it, but who the hell knows. No one knows at all. But we will pack ourselves into Sienna’s home and ignore all our own personal realities, our own home lives. People will drink and gossip and laugh so hard that they’re sick.

There is a buzz in school. About the party, about the end of the year, but also about HEATHER, and how anyone could be next. Every day now, the talk is about whether anything new has happened, and what it was. The teachers seem on extra-high alert, carefully entering classrooms, opening desk drawers, making sure their cars are locked. The students are acting like it’s Christmas every day. They are always waiting for the next incident but really hoping it’s not about them. It’s like waiting to see if you get coal in your stocking, except that the coal might be a ten-foot banner in the gym that says you’ve got a small dick. That happened to Josh, who is rumored to have been slut-shaming his girlfriend. Since then, the gym has been locked outside of classes.

At lunch, Dee and I see Ava and the others at a different table. I push away the thought that they’re distancing themselves, trying to get away from us, and join them anyway.

Marta looks surprised as we clatter our trays down. Almost afraid. Ava and Jesse exchange looks, then scoot over to make room.

“Did you see that banner in the gym?” I ask.

“How did they even get that thing up there?” Marta whispers.

“No idea, but you should have seen Josh’s face,” says Dee, shaking her head. She sips her drink, then: “Are you guys going to Sienna’s party?”

“I dunno, probably,” Marta says, tracing her cafeteria tray with a finger and exchanging a look with Ava. “You guys?”

Ava looks at Antar. “Yeah, we’re going.” Antar is largely ignoring us, his earbuds in, music on while he eats.