I nod and look away again. Pete stands and comes around the table, and I stand up, too. And in a moment of total weakness or forgetting, I hug him. His body tenses in surprise, there is a pause, and then he gives me a quick squeeze. I almost lose it, in that moment. I feel eleven again, like I’m going to dissolve right into his arms, which are like the best sweater, the comfiest couch, like the home I wish was mine. Pull it together, Stevie. I wipe my eyes and pull away, and as I do, I see that Breanne is just outside the room, watching us. I sniff, mutter a thanks, and leave without saying another word.

I pretend not to see Breanne as I move through the doorway but feel her eyes on me. She follows me down the hallway, then grabs my arm. I spin around like I might punch her out. She sees it in my face and steps back.

“What?” I demand.

She quickly regains herself. “Wow, that was kinky. I mean, I knew you were a slut, but I didn’t know how far you’d go to get good grades.” She smirks.

“Shut up,” I say, turning around again.

“Does Lottie know you are having after-school cuddles with her mom?”

Before I know it, I am back, inches from her face.

“Do not make me hurt you, Breanne,” I hiss, surprising both of us. Her eyes widen and her mouth clamps shut. My chest is heaving. There’s a beat, a moment between us, when neither folds, but then she looks away and mumbles “Whatever” and walks away, her hair swinging at her back. I watch her go and head for the doors, my eyes squinting in the sun.

Chapter 20

20

There is a trip today to the recycling plant for the Environmental Science Club, or frankly, anyone who realized the trip was an option. I heard about it on the announcements yesterday and need to get out. I cannot sit in class right now. I feel a rumble of anger bubbling inside me as I start my day with Pete, who teaches things that used to matter to me but seem unrelated to real life anymore. I remembered how Ava was always trying to get me to join the club, and Mr. Wilson is so desperate to get students involved that he agreed to all the last-minute slackers who provided him with a permission form.