“Who isn’t telling you the truth, Cal?” That slight undertone of concern.

“The police. Elsa. Everyone.”

“Elsa lied to you? Wow . . .”

“It wasn’t an actual lie. Anyway, I want a press pass. For the trial.”

“A press pass isn’t going to fix your marriage, Cal. Could do the very opposite.” He said it very gently, a smile in his voice. Always the older brother . . .

“You know what? Forget what I said about Elsa. Delete it from your brain. But, Dan, you liked what I did on the day of the attacks. And we need to keep Licia’s name alive.”

“I know,” he said softly.

“Plus I have a source. Two, maybe.”

He laughed. “Are you pitching for a job?”

“Would that be completely ridiculous?”

“You realize that people won’t start telling you the truth just because you’re a journalist? I have a world of people lying to me too. Who’s your source?”

“One was flying a helicopter on the day of the attacks. He has footage. The other’s in the police. Dan, there’s a story here that isn’t being told. The authorities are holding something back.”

“You’re saying there’s a conspiracy?”

“I realize that sounds extreme. Maybe, though.”

I could hear my brother sucking the air in across his teeth.

“I should go,” I said. “Sorry.”

“Wait.” He exhaled heavily. “Cal, did you ever sit in on a murder trial?”

“No.”

“Point one: Murder trials are shitty. They do not provide closure—”

“And I get that—”

“—and point two: These guys had plenty of time to take their own lives. When they ran out of bullets they sat and waited for the tactical unit to arrive. That means the plan was not to die. This isn’t a school shooting. It’s not a suicide bombing.”

“I do realize the difference.”

“I don’t think you do. Cal, for men like this the trial is a key part of the exploitation phase. It’s a way of getting their message out. Amplifying the signal. And that will open wounds you didn’t know you had . . . Are you ready to sit and watch as they talk about Licia as collateral damage in the war of the races? Cal, for the sake of your mental health, for the sake of your marriage, for the sake of your relationship with your kids—”

I knew he was right, but I could feel the anger rising in me. “My mental health is okay, Dan. So’s the other stuff. But thank you for your time.”

“—and if you let me finish, you will hear that I’m not telling you no.”

“You aren’t?”

“I look at the news value of this and—what do you know?—kind of a tantalizing offer.”

For a moment I thought I might cry. To be listened to . . . for Licia’s story to be heard . . .