Back Love and Other Lies Save as PDF
Chapters (61)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Imagine a girl
  4. Prologue
  5. The Foreigner
  6. One
  7. Two
  8. Three
  9. Four
  10. Five
  11. The Skeptic
  12. Six
  13. Seven
  14. Eight
  15. Nine
  16. Ten
  17. Eleven
  18. Twelve
  19. Thirteen
  20. Fourteen
  21. Fifteen
  22. Sixteen
  23. Seventeen
  24. Eighteen
  25. Nineteen
  26. Twenty
  27. Twenty-One
  28. Twenty-Two
  29. Twenty-Three
  30. The Spectator
  31. Twenty-Four
  32. Twenty-Five
  33. Twenty-Six
  34. Twenty-Seven
  35. Twenty-Eight
  36. Twenty-Nine
  37. The Assassin
  38. Thirty
  39. Thirty-One
  40. Thirty-Two
  41. Thirty-Three
  42. Thirty-Four
  43. Thirty-Five
  44. Thirty-Six
  45. Thirty-Seven
  46. Thirty-Eight
  47. Thirty-Nine
  48. Forty
  49. Forty-One
  50. The Hunter
  51. Forty-Two
  52. Forty-Three
  53. Forty-Four
  54. Forty-Five
  55. Forty-Six
  56. Forty-Seven
  57. Imagine a girl
  58. Acknowledgments
  59. About the Author
  60. Also by Ben McPherson
  61. About the Publisher

Franklin pushed his dish across the platform of the high chair, over the edge, and onto the floor, where it landed facedown. He sat staring down at it, transfixed. Elsa looked at him, then at me.

“Here’s the thing,” I said. “I know you met someone at the mall.”

She laughed. “You followed me?”

“Kind of by mistake.”

She turned, looked me very deliberately in the eye. “See, I’m pretty sure I saw you, lurking in the shadows outside.”

“Did you?”

“Yes.” She said it on the inhale.

I said, “Who was the man?”

She sat for a while, as if weighing her options. She gave a tiny grimace.

“Elsa?”

Then she looked me very directly in the eye with her blue-white wolf eyes. “Hedda thinks our policy of honesty doesn’t work in my favor.”

“What’s that even supposed to mean?”

But she simply sat there staring at me, refusing to answer my question.

I went out, angry and confused.

I walked into town along the freeway, hands freezing, shoes and trousers stained with salt.

What would Elsa have seen if she had been watching me? That I fell twice on the icy street. That I entered the bar self-conscious and covered in snow. That I sat, talking to a woman on a high stool.

“Where are you from?” the woman said.

“Here,” I said.

She looked at the stain where the snow had soaked into my jacket, amused. “No,” she said. “I really don’t think you are.”

A tall woman with elaborately pinned hair and a short skirt. She remembered me, she said, and I remembered her.

“Okay,” I said. “What was your name again?”

Nina. Her name was Nina. With her open face and her strong thighs.

We retreated to a booth in a dark corner. When I told Nina that I had no friends in this town she reached across and mussed my hair, and although that was a friendly gesture, I suppose it was open to misinterpretation. If my wife had been watching through the plate-glass window she would not have liked it.

Outside the bar, electric cars cut silent paths through the snow.

From the street perhaps it looked as if we were caressing each other’s hands, though, for all my longing, it was innocent and chaste. I did not once look at Nina’s thighs, despite the shortness of her skirt.

The truth is I wanted to talk to someone who didn’t have an opinion about me, who hadn’t seen me on television, and who didn’t know that I was the father of the missing girl. I wanted to flirt and laugh for an hour or two, and for it all to mean nothing. And Nina was kind and funny, and I told her at the start that I was married and loved my wife. And she admired my wedding ring and told me it was beautifully designed, and I in turn admired hers.