june 5 i texted with mira about if we were going to the launch party, and that we’d figure out things about driving to baltimore for our reading the next day at the party. she said she’s doing an internship at penguin books and works part-time. slept a little. i did laundry. there were three loads and i didn’t have enough quarters. it was sunny. went to the non-pickles & pies deli to get change for $7 and the guy gave me $5. a woman by the counter said ‘you never give me quarters.’ the deli guy was the guy who told me i smelled nice the night i got thai food and talked to masha on the phone and it was windy and there was a concrete-fixer man in the doorway. he’s always there. he’s chill. encountered him day before yesterday also, he said he was falling asleep. easy/effortless communications. he gave me $5 of quarters. walked to chinese food place and got remaining $2. looked at menu for chinese place on the walk back to apartment. it was around 4:30PM. knew i should leave by 6PM to get to powerhouse arena by 7PM.

talked to mark while loading quarters in the machines. he was mopping the floor and advised me to use two dryers. he said ‘does it smell like beer in here to you?’ i said ‘no, maybe it’s my detergent though. because i wash my clothes with beer.’ he laughed. i like mark. we shot the shit. felt like i wasn’t the one doing the talking for me, someone else had stepped in. mark asked how my apartment was and i said the fuses blew out the other night and my fan and other lights don’t work. he said ‘oh, you just gotta flip the fuses, you got a fuse box on the wall.’ i said ‘i know, i tried…that’s how it happened. the blowing out.’ he said ‘well i’ll come up and take a look at it sometime.’ this is the first time conversation felt difficult, explaining to him…the…it’s even hard to type, what i just typed. ‘knew’ he wouldn’t come up to check. asked him if he was the person who puts packages by my door. he said ‘nah, that’s the mailman. we have the mailmen do it. they put it up to your door.’ i said ‘that’s so nice.’

it was getting later. remember considering ordering chinese food from the place. this day is very much colored in my memory with ‘should i buy chinese food’ and looking at my apartment with no curtains on the walls or sheets on the bed. looked at the menu for ciro’s pizza also. think it was around 5:45PM when i walked back up to my apartment from putting the clothes in the dryer. realized i wouldn’t be able to shower because i didn’t have towels so i ‘did’ my toes and fingers, like, scraped the dead skin off my feet and rubbed a four-sided stick on my toenails so they’d get shiny. knew i was going to be late for the launch party which, at this time, i thought was a reading.