remember going to the bathroom a lot, bringing my bag with me every time, thinking ‘drugs are in the bag, they are close, i can always just do one of the drugs,’ then placing bag next to bed when i’d return from bathroom. didn’t do drugs. sat in room. read internet and more of ‘taipei.’ mom called at one point. i said ‘i don’t feel talkative right now.’ ordered pizza around 9PM. drank a lot of water. gave pizza delivery man $12 tip. he looked like ‘lost present-day richard brautigan, unemployed, maybe just stumbled upon a pizza.’ didn’t want the pizza once i had it.

JUNE 8, 2013

9:30AM: woke. peed and refilled water glass. it was sunny and reminded me of a day in winter 2009. ate remaining pizza slice. looked at internet.

12:47PM: woke. drank leftover dunkin donuts coffee and ate maybe 5mg adderall. pooped. moved bed to look for missing e-cigarette in crack between bed and wall, where phone fell. didn’t see. swept floor. read texts from last night. found e-cigarette. have been avoiding updating due to spending large portion of my time doing a thing i want to omit from liveblog, which i want to write about, but if people know about it there could be negative consequences for me or another person. have thought a lot about this. imagined consequences. the thing i’m omitting is making me happier. deliberately avoiding talking about why i want to omit this. new thing for liveblog, to exclude something to the degree i plan on excluding it. that’s good, i think, in that it’s new.

1:26PM: ate half a concerta, unsure mg. going to update this with ‘everything i remember from may 31-june 2 from the perspective of [no longer ‘sunday june 3 afternoon’] saturday june 8 afternoon (option that won the most votes on poll).’ then i’m going to update ‘everything i remember from june 4 (not written about)-now.’

goddamnit. wish ‘disjointed iphone update’ had gotten the most votes on ‘how should i update this’ poll. complaining stupidly. this is what i wanted, i wanted to do what people voted on so i wouldn’t have to decide, and now i want to stick to what i’d decided, i shouldn’t complain.

4:04PM: have been answering ask.fm questions. here goes:

EVERYTHING I REMEMBER FROM WHEN I STOPPED UPDATING MAY 30, 2013 – JUNE 2, 2013, FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF SATURDAY AFTERNOON JUNE 8, 2013: