12:01pm: went inside petsmart. Tao wrote ‘live blog’ in my copy of ‘taipei,’ I didn’t see until now. I’m in the car now. Didn’t see many ‘grilled’ or ‘sliced’ options. Alvie and Shirley like those best. Walked to an area between aisles maybe three times. Every time I’d leave an aisle I’d see a cat looking at me. It was the only cat there. It was sitting in a metal cage inside an enclosed plastic-looking space behind which was some kind of endless-looking maze of metal things leading to a back room maybe. There were 6-8 empty cages in the ‘cage complex,’ which was under a large photo-printed decal (said something like ‘PetSmart Adoption Charities,’ ‘Brooklyn [animal something, ‘hospital’ or ‘rescue’], and a series of numbers strangely out of order [‘4, 5, 1, 2, 8…’] just remembered something about how in lucid dreaming you’re supposed to pay attention to if numbers make sense) that was big enough to give a pre-ceiling area the appearance of a billboard. The cat looked so small and so frozen in place every time. He was looking at me every time I’d walk out. Also not moving. Stomach and chest felt tight. Unsure if it would be nicer for me to look at him or walk over to him or leave him alone. Thought ‘if you were my cat I wouldn’t even be able to figure out what kind of food you like.’

12:11pm: leaving parking lot. Three pieces trident spearmint gum in mouth. Pictured myself driving around to find a dunkin donuts (not really that though, just like, vague image of ‘the store containing all the carbs I could ever want’) where I would buy no less than four but no more than ten menu items and take them out to my car, where loud rebellious teen anthem music would be playing, to ‘party.’ the windows of my car would be down…there were these kids who would hang out in grocery store parking lots when I was in high school. What I’d be doing with the dunkin donuts would be ‘partying’ harder than those kids could ever party. Like. More alone, drifting, hopeless than them. Significantly more. One time Zachary and I had a six-pack of high life and we were in some kind of strip mall parking lot and I drove slow past a group of high school kids ‘partying’/milling around and he handed one of them a high life out the passenger-side window. They didn’t seem appreciative. I think this was Zachary and me. I forget. Remember laughing with whoever it was and saying things about ‘how did they not want the beer.’

12:20pm: I’m in a dunkin donuts parking lot. Going to look at the menu online so I can know what I want before face-to-face confrontation with cashier person. Lovingly preparing myself for the transaction that’s about to happen. Taking everything into account to ensure there will be no surprises, no unnecessary talking, the smoothest and quickest transaction possible.