turned off alarms. ate noopept, caffeine pill, sugar-free red bull. thought i only had until 2PM to finish the tweet thing. finished most of one of the tweet things and was going to turn it in looking shitty. re-read email and saw deadline was june 4 at 2PM, not today. re-read email from last night deadline for chris killen transcription had been pushed up to june 4 at 6PM. i wasn’t thinking things like ‘time’ yesterday.

2:01PM: threw away cans and paper recycleable things. talked twice with mom on phone. masha’s package was outside door. sometimes a package will be sitting outside my door. haven’t thrown out old mattress yet. seems ‘annoyingly symbolic.’

ceiling fan stopped working yesterday but the windows have been open and cats are acting insane, i think because old cat pee on the curtains was activated by opened-window moisture. moisture-activated insanity curtains. need to do laundry today. wash curtains. “cats are out of wet food but they seem happy with dry,’ she typed to make herself feel better.’

lit candle. swept/mopped floor and cleaned cat box. i did those things multiple times yesterday too. feel like the woman in ‘woman in the dunes,’ via cat litter granules being sort of like sand and…just…never-ending. i’m always sweeping things, it seems. have felt very preoccupied with having a clean floor and no ‘crumbies’ in bed since living here. not interested in why but am pretty sure there are annoyingly symbolic reasons for all of this too.

masha sent phenylpiracetam and aniracetam ‘extra goodies’ with vyvanse/adderall shipment. texted her something about her packaging skills and thank you and i was thinking about buying phenylpiraetam or another ‘nootropic’ thing last night. thought something like ‘nice men and women in their 20’s helping each other by mailing cutely wrapped and thoughtfully assembled packages of drugs and drawings and miscellaneous things’ while opening her package and remembering my package to her and matthew’s recent package. ate one of the…i’m not sure which one i ate. ate 50mg vyvanse.

downloaded ‘camtasia’ to keep track of the time i transcribe. am getting paid to do this. will wait on typing may 31-june 2 update until i finish.

3:33PM: transcribed about three minutes/one page of chris killen’s 37-minute monologue about knut hamsun. ate 20mg adderall.

3:34PM: paused ‘camtasia’ recording to make celery/cucumber/coconut water juice and call mom back. only one and a half hours and three minutes of recording had gone by. i was doing the transcription the whole time except i looked at chrome to see how to spell ‘edvard munch’ once. ‘camtasia’ takes a video of your screen…seems funny to have a video recording of me doing the transcription…talked to mom in ‘chris voice.’ chris talks like british woody allen kind of. kind of. at one point he says something really funny and i was laughing transcribing. felt my brain being in ‘mining for where punctuation would occur in a voice’-mode talking to mom. on the phone, washed vegetables. mom is going to a furniture store. seems like we are both currently ‘worried about getting things done and potentially disappointing people/ourselves.’ apologized to her about letting conversation get intense last night and she apologized too. she said ‘what does the sky look like there?’ i said ‘it’s like…blue. i mean. gray, white. it’s white. white-gray. it’s really bad, what about you?’ she said ‘oh it’s just the same, just the same. isn’t it so awful?’