4:49PM: going to focus less on getting down chris’ ‘microscopic if there could be microscopes for ears/voices’ vocal tics and more on typing.

HUMORLESS ASS DAY.

LAUNDRY TODAY.

NEEDS TO HAPPEN.

THEN I CAN CALL MARK AND GET THE FAN FIXED AND THROW AWAY THE MATTRESS AND CALL BACK THE NAVY AND APPLY FOR JOBS…WHAT THE HELL…THINGS GOT OUT OF CONTROL SOMEHOW…LOSING FOCUS…ONE MONTH LEFT…NEED TO START…GIOSDIDSOFHDSOIFHD

SEEMS FUNNY ACTUALLY, ALL OF THIS, NOT HUMORLESS

A LOT OF THE TIME I THINK ‘LOOK AT WHAT YOU’RE TYPING, THIS IS WHAT FEELS BEST TO COME OUT OF YOU’ AND KIND OF LAUGH AND WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU

WHOEVER YOU ARE

ALSO ONE LAST THING: THE WAY I OBSESS ABOUT SMALL CLEANLINESS-RELATED THINGS IN MY APARTMENT BUT HAVE BEEN NEGLECTING ‘FIXING LARGE THINGS’ AND NOT EATING PROPERLY REMINDS ME OF THE—DOES ANYONE REMEMBER IN ‘THE END OF THE STORY’ WHERE IT’S LIKE A LONG THING ABOUT…THAT, KIND OF? HOW SHE’S SUCCUMBING TO DOING THINGS LIKE THAT…IT’S BEFORE SHE SHOWS UP ON HIS DECK/PORCH, I THINK…ONLY I’M NOT AS…LIKE I DON’T HAVE REASONS FOR FEELING DEPRESSED OR LIKE I’M ‘SURVIVING’ OR ANYONE’S DECK/PORCH I WANT TO SHOW UP ON, THAT’S JUST HOW I’M FEELING

ALSO DID THE GUY IN THAT HAVE RED HAIR

THINK I HAVE ALWAYS PICTURED HIM WITH RED HAIR AND HAVE FELT AVERSION

ALSO PAUL AUSTER’S AND LYDIA DAVIS’ RELATIONSHIP SEEMS EQUALLY LIKE ‘HUH’ AND ‘YES I UNDERSTAND, MAKES PERFECT SENSE’ TO ME

ALSO WHEN I THINK ‘PAUL AUSTER’ I THINK ‘MOTHERLESS BROOKLYN…NO’ AND ‘[PICTURE OF A CGI BLACK DOG WITH WET EYES]’ AND ‘[PICTURE OF A SCRIPT]’ AND ‘TAPDANCING DETECTIVE’ AND ‘THAT GUY FROM ‘AMERICAN BEAUTY’ WHO PLAYS THE REAL ESTATE KING’

WHEN I THINK ‘LYDIA DAVIS’ I THINK ‘SALTINE CRACKERS’ AND ‘[PICTURE I ALWAYS SEE OF HER FACE ON GOOGLE IMAGES, LOOKING OLDER THAN HOW I THINK SHE IS]’ AND ‘[PICTURE OF HER SITTING AT HER DESK IN THE ROOM FROM ‘SECRET ROOM’ OR SOMETHING MOVIE WITH JOHNNY DEPP BUT HER HEAD IS CUT OFF AT THE NECK AND THERE ARE A LOT OF PAPERS AND AN OPENED THING OF SALTINE CRACKERS NEAR HER TYPEWRITER WHICH SHE FEELS WEIRD ABOUT USING BUT ALSO LIKE SHE ‘HAS TO’ USE OR LIKE ‘NOT ENOUGH MOTIVATION TO START USING SOMETHING ELSE YET BUT AWARE OF THE POSSIBILITY’]

9:01PM: transcribed chris killen thing marathon style. a little under 4700 words. great job shitty shoo.

10:44PM: it’s 10:44PM now. just so you. know. i’m addressing that the beginning of the ending of this break ends at ‘10:44PM:’ so that probably means right now it is 10:44PM, i think you know that, addressing it now though. officially. going to resume transcribing chris’ thing 11:05PM.

everything i remember doing from 9:02-10:44PM:

•  went to pickles & pies to get more energy drinks/groceries/cat food. talked to myself in ‘chris voice’ while dressing. emailed tao to see if i was taking too long on transcription/if there were money issues.

•  recorded video of me talking like chris but seems unseemly.