2:29PM: pictured myself looking ‘calmly dead’ in bed, getting found by mark probably, after transferring all my paypal money (~$350) to my savings account (~$100), spending it all on heroin to combine with all the xanax i have (~20mg) and a bottle of wine. mark would say ‘ah jeez. that’s too bad’ and call whoever you call. that’s if i find out i’m pregnant. i would make sure my cats had enough food for a few days before i did it. i don’t know if i’d leave a note. my note would be an asterisk and my last liveblog update would be ‘*: see above.’

2:55PM: chewed caffeine pill with teeth and swallowed. ate noopept. the DMV is 26 minutes away. i think i got this. i can do this today. decided ‘lacking interest in food’ depression is better than the alternative, for health. eating only fruits and vegetables makes me feel good, physically. maybe will cause other things to improve.

3:33pm: Danny texted ‘hi’

Danny called less than a minute later

He said he wants cash instead of a check

Annoying

Meeting him at 6pm

3:45pm: seems like I’m not going to make it to the DMV. They’ll also be annoyed with me for being late and will probably be less forgiving. I’ll get my car inspected instead. That is actually the more annoying of the tasks. Okay. Going to call bp station by me to see about this.

4:35pm: went to the wrong gas station. Called the right one. The man said ‘no we’re a Mobil gas station now.’ parked by a ‘self-car wash’ machine and wandered around service area and tried to open a door. No dice. Wandered to repair shop area and saw a probably female person working on an elevated car with a 24-pack box of sam adams in the open trunk. I said ‘hi I called earlier about a photo inspection?’ She smiled and said ‘oh just hang out and wait.’ walked to the edge of the service area and waited a little. She cheerfully said ‘oh naw, you can bring it over closer, bring your car over and hang out.’ I did it. I am hanging out. She said ‘you got your insurance card?’ I said ‘yeah’ and felt like I had won a ‘price is right’ thing, I haven’t known where the card is for a long time and found it while moving a couple weeks ago. Took out insurance card. Afraid there will be an issue.

Woman pulled up to my left, wanting an inspection too. Mechanic lady said ‘hold on, I have one ahead of you.’ now the inspection-hungry woman is parked behind me. Have to pee badly. Their bathroom is out of order.

7:07PM: have been laying in bed feeling depressed. i am wearing a bikini. why did i do that. i don’t know, but ‘here it is.’ smells like chlorine. i don’t remember wearing it. i know ‘laundry’ is something i wanted to do.