BEAU BRIDGES: THE BROTHER OF JEFF

MICHELLE PHEIFFER: IN A MOVIE WITH TOSE BROSE ABOUT PIANOS

‘BROSE’ LOL

LOOKS MORE CORRECT THAN ‘BROS’

OKAY

SETH ROGEN: NOT THE NAME

JUDD APATOW: NO

SETH MEYERS: ?!?!! HOW DID I JUST THINK THAT

SETH: IS IT SOMEONE NAMED ‘SETH?’

SETH BRIDHGES?

JOHN MCKINLEY?

THIS IS ACTUALLY SEEMING IMPOSSIBLE, TO FIGURE OUT THIS PERSON’S NAME, AND I KNOW YOU PROBABLY KNOW WHO IT IS

JEBADOH

SOMETHING LIKE ‘JEBADOH BRIDGES-MEYERS’

I’M LAUGHING REALLY HARD

SETH ROGEN

FUKCKCKXJKLKJHFKDFJKHDFHJKDFKJHD

FUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKKKK

‘FUCK’ IN 72PT FONT

SETH BRIDGES

JEFF APATOW

HELP

WHO IS THIS MAN

9:39PM: I GAVE UP I LOOKED IT UP, IT’S JONAH HILL

LDIES AND GENTLEMENT, IT HAS BEEN HIM THE WHOLE TIME

WITHOUT FURTHER INTRODUCTION:

JONAH HILL

LOOK AT THAT MOTHERFUCKER

I WANT TO TAKE HIM TO IN-N-OUT BURGER

I WILL BE LIKE ‘BABY I REALIZE THIS MIGHT NOT BE A GOOD TIME IN YOUR LIFE FOR ANOTHER CHIN BUT BTU DO YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE? I COULD BE THAT FOR YOU, I WILL WRAP MYSELF AROUND YOUR NECK AND NEVER LEAVE’

HE SEEMS LIKEA GOOD PERSON

LOOK AT THAT FACE

REMEMBER HOW HE WAS A BOY ONCE? SO EASY TO REMEMBER, NOT EVEN KNOWING HE WAS, LOOKING AT THAT FACE

LOVE HIM

JONAH

IS HE…FROM…’SQUID AND THE QHALE’

NICKI MINAJ SHOULD DO AN ALBUM CALLED ‘DA SQUID N DA WHALE’

NO ONE WOULD SEE IT COMING

LENA DUNHAM/NICKI MINAJ DUET CALLED ‘NOAH BAUMBACH’

LIKE

EVERYONE WOULD LOVE IT IF THAT HAPPENED, RIGHT?

I WANT TO BE JONAH HILL’S MINK STOLE

MINK STOLE

THAT’S RIGHT

I GOTTA…

THINGS WOULD NOT BE VERY DIFFERENT IF I HAD BEEN BORN WITH A PENIS

10:19PM: it went something like this:

me: hi, can i place an order for pick-up?

thai rock: oh yes, please hold on for one minute

me: okay, thank you

thai rock: what may i get for you?

me: um, can i get a tom kha soup? with chicken?

thai rock: tom kha soup, hem, tom yum?

me: oh no, kha? the tom kha soup?

thai rock: well, actually, maybe i interest you in tom yum? because i think we are light on coconut today.

me: oh! oh oh, yes, yeah, tom yum soup then. that’s fine.

thai rock: so the tom yum soup, two orders?

me: oh no just one, with the. and

thai rock: you want veggies tofu or chicken? shrimp?

me: the…uh. veggies and tofu.

thai rock: am i understanding two orders, or one?

me: oh just one, just one order please, and

thai rock: and anything else?

me: yes please. may i have the pork dumplings?

thai rock: pork dumplings…

me: yes please. and pad thai? with

thai rock: pad thai with chicken, or tofu veggie, or shrimp, duck?

me: the. just tofu veggie also. pad thai tofu veggie.

thai rock: i see.

me: when should i come pick it up?

thai rock: oh, well, wait one second because actually i should’ve been writing this down, wait one second.