10:20pm: Hugh Carey tunnel is $7.50 Jesus, that’s the one I took by accident, gotta go back through. Think I’ve been largely operating under the misconception that ezpass on my car means ‘free.’

10:39pm: how did I get so lost I’m not even looking at the internet. Definitely third tunnel of tonight. Hugh? Perhaps! PERHAPS THIS IS MY THIRD HUGH THRU!

10:44pm: here is the plan. If I divert from the plan it means I have aids, they will discover aids in me somehow, I will have had it since 2005.

10:47pm: hold up a minute now I’m on the wrong bridge how in the hell

10:53pm: I’ve definitely been lost here before. Hylan drive. I went over the verrazano bridge, it’s like I’m coming from Baltimore again. Getting on belt pkwy I know where I’m at now okay. Told Mira I was not partying tonight.

10:56pm: the order of things which I am not to divert from otherwise it means I have had aids since 2005:

•  get energy drinks and green smoothie materials from waldbaum’s

•  see if you can garner internet from parked car on 116th st or by the McDonald’s on Beach 90something st., update liveblog quick without elaborations on Ikea stuff

11:28pm: nixing ‘look for internet’ plan. Will take too much time. Sitting in waldbaum’s parking lot now.

11:36pm: wish I had goddamned internet at my house. Goddamnit.

11:55pm: trouble checking out. Neither ice cube tray had barcode. Man named ‘Candy’ went to look for them. He was real ‘New York style.’ like ratso rizzo with a happy family instead of poverty and gimp leg style. He asked me where I found them and I didn’t know. Had planned to ask him when I walked in, where the ice cube trays would be, then I found them somehow. I scanned things. Candy returned with four trays. He said ‘it’s a two-pack, see?’ I said ‘oh no it must’ve gotten…’ he scanned the two-pack for me, said ‘three-nineteen for a two-pack,’ handed mine back. I said ‘thank you, that must be annoying.’ he said ‘nah no problem. three-nineteen’ as he walked behind an area customers aren’t allowed to go.

Waldbaum’s looks so similar to the super fresh Zachary and I would go to in Philly. I miss that. At this time last year I had no idea. No idea this is how it would end up. I usually think ‘where will I be in a year’ whenever it is but I don’t remember at all, what I thought then. The first two months in Philadelphia were the happiest. April and may. One time in line at a thrift store Zachary said something about how we were being annoying and laughing and that it was good we didn’t have friends, because they would be annoyed by how in love we were. That was the day we bought the matching gigantic t-shirts, floor-length pink ‘hers’ and blue ‘his’ t-shirts, that we rarely wore, that he was wearing the night in late march this year, the night before the week we spent together before moving things to storage units and parents’ houses and new places and eventually it started becoming now.