Couple in front of me: 30’s, severe looking man in almost transparent blue (lol) plaid button-down, girl in all black, black leather sneakers designed for zero laces but with ‘laces spaces,’ thought they were from another country but no, she is on her iPhone a lot, he is explaining something to her, like he is convincing her about the value of the chocolate bars, they buy six or eight. They have the same trash can as me but different price tag. I took the display one by accident.

Couple adjacent to that couple: 40’s, look sponsored by j crew, man is wearing button-down sweater vest under a ‘Nantucket’ or something cardigan/blazer, he keeps leaving the line looking lost and returning with nothing, wife is wearing hot pink Capri pants. They are buying patio furniture stuff. What if I had bought all outdoor furniture for my room. Insisted on that. They probably own a brownstone, this couple.

Line confusion, I had brought two display items (trash can and dish rack). People behind me commented on how full my bag was and that I’d need to buy a blue ikea bag. I said ‘yeah I know how to fill a bag. I’m buying that blue bag too, yeah.’ smiles all around, somehow.

Cashier said ‘is this your first time here?’ re my two display items then seeing that I had cash and it was a credit/debit only line. I pulled out ‘quick recovery’ visa and said ‘no I’m just stupid about the display things, I’m sorry about that.’ I started putting things in my bag and she said ‘no hurry, here, there’s paper for the glasses, you can wrap them.’

9:31pm: little girl behind me said ‘mommy lets go on the alligator’ as I entered elevator. Woman entered behind a man in all denim who said ‘Ladies first.’

The ‘ladies first’ woman said, to a man with cart, ‘everything goes so fast here, it’s so narrow. I like to drive on open highways.’ More people entered. Someone said ‘yeah they [carts] don’t go in one direction.’ Maybe six people with carts on elevator now. Denim man said ‘That’ll work that’ll work.’ Thought something about disaster movies, getting stuck with them in elevator.

Elevator door closed and it seemed to move. Few seconds later it opened to the same floor we entered.

Someone said ‘how did this happen, we’re all particularly educated people’

Someone said ‘Twilight zone’

I mumbled ‘It’s just two buttons, also’

People said other things and someone pushed the ‘parking garage’ button.

I said ‘Watch, it’ll open up to the same thing.’

The woman who said ‘we’re all particularly educated’ looked at me fake-threateningly. The door opened to the parking garage. She looked at me and said ‘A-ha!’

9:40–10:15pm: looked for 24-hour wifi in ikea parking lot, seems impossible

10:21pm: took the wrong tunnel to 24-hour starbucks, going to manhattan one

10:16pm: somehow it says 10:16 now.