8:35pm: thinking about Regina. My car battery definitely seems…there is a problem

9:04pm: feel like treating myself to Chicfila for no reason. Reason-free treating. Shit hell yeah just saw a sign.

9:14pm: in chicfila drive thru. Chicfila is located in white marsh, in an industrial park/‘chain store wasteland.’ Think every chain store is represented here. Staring at menu now. Almost went to panera but worried about parking w/weird battery thing going on. I’m…yes, I have decided I am going ‘grilled’ tonight. Grilled chicken club meal. Mouth watering

9:18pm: drive thru said ‘will that complete your order’ and I forgot if I had said a diet coke, then if I had ordered at all. Speaker said ‘Elena will help you at the window.’ Thought ‘okay I’m rolling with this, I’m rolling with this’

9:20pm: Elena asked if I wanted sauce. She said ‘we’re just waiting on your sandwich.’ I said ‘okie doke.’ she said ‘hey what new salad dressing is the best?’ Male voice said ‘I like ranch.’ she said ‘really? I don’t like ranch.’ Jealous of people’s jobs at petsmart and chicfila tonight. Driving now.

9:47pm: hard to manage dipping sauces while driving. I was short-shafted on fries. Sandwich was ‘misty,’ like how they spray vegetables with that automatic mist thing at grocery stores. Misty chargrilled chicken club deluxe. Medium-dark green lettuce. When it was gone I wanted more.

9:53pm: had 30-60 second-long thought process thing about the interview with Juliet last night that concluded ‘don’t share right now.’

10:33pm: imagined creating ‘beach blanket bingo death party’ Facebook event, inviting everyone I like to my new apartment for a pre-death funeral celebration, like on the event page it says I plan to overdose and die that night. Nice way to go out.

11:45pm: car brightened from highbeams behind me. It was a Chiquita banana truck.

11:53pm: intense craving for unidentifiable food.

11:59pm: want a Cinnabon. Orange sign by Grover Cleveland service center says ‘fuel only no fuel services.’

MAY 3, 2013

12:03am: while feeling around for birth control I touched cat food and thought ‘should I eat this.’

12:05am: dealt with ‘modest—all things considered—sparkling water spill.’ blew nose into hand even though I have napkins.

12:11am: ‘hotcha girls’ by ugly Casanova is playing. Love this song. Longtime big love. ‘don’t you know that old folks homes smell so much like my own.’

12:13am: damn almost out of gas. Juliet emailed that it felt weird to read about our conversation from my perspective. OH NO TAKE THIS JULIET, NOW IM WRITING ABOUT YOUR EMAIL OH NO, IM MAKING YOU TAKE YOUR MEDICINE, I AM JACK IN THE SHINING AND YOU ARE DANNY NOW COME OUT HERE BOY AND TAKE YOUR GODDAMNED MEDICINE

12:15am: a cover of ‘tripped’ by Neva dinova with Jordan on backup vocals/guitar, Tao on drums, me singing is playing. We made it in September 2010. nostalgic.

12:32am: I read ‘Goethals’ as ‘goebbel’ or whoever that third reich guy is almost every time.