4:50PM: assembled package for matthew donahoo. 5mg opana feels similar to heroin but feel more awake and euphoric/optimistic.

started reading old livejournal, notdownwithopp.livejournal.com. sweet as hell. memories. big time. forgot being so happy subletting then living with two friends for a few months in 2008. i just made everything public without looking.

STUFF I WILL DO NOW:

•  buying e-cigarette from walgreens

•  getting key to storage unit from dad

•  putting boxes from storage unit into car

•  buying kitty litter kitty food

•  returning to NYC

5:20pm: Judd apatow guy next to me at stop light is listening to death cab for cutie-like song with lyrics ‘when there’s a burning in your heart and you feel like it’ll fall apart.’ His windows are down. I don’t know why I’m mad at him. He has a bike rack and a plaid shirt and is driving an oddly new Volvo.

5:22pm: opana feels like that feeling when you first get to the pool and you’re looking for where to put your towel and there are all of these people sitting in plastic chairs under umbrellas. Like ‘why not here?’

5:40pm: bought shitshow from Walgreens: neuro sonic, neuro passion, white monster zero drunk, sparkling water, e-cigarette. There was trouble with my card and a big line formed. I said ‘oh great right when there’s a lot of people, right?’ and ‘sorry about this,’ cashier seemed appreciative.

6:27pm: e-cigarette smoke tastes good, doesn’t hurt throat. Seems futuristic. Opana wore off fast, want more. Showed dad e-cigarette and he showed me his new offices. In good mood. Dad and I bowed to each other when I left.

7:31pm: loaded things from storage closet to car. Found old ‘tv shows’ I made when I was little, other VHS movies, emotional t-shirts. Bringing all that shit. Excited for VHS player. Eating another opana to treat my ass. Trying cherry flavor e-cigarette. Listening to less than jake. Thought ‘I’m a shimby shooshoo. Shoofly, hm!’

7:50pm: I could be a spokeswoman for e-cigarettes, feel so positive about them. Favorite new toy.

8:28pm: petsmart employee ‘Regina’ helped me pick out cat food. Her phone alarm went off when she was selling me on this walnut-based kitty litter, saying ‘I love my job so much I need to set an alarm for when I leave. I mean I wouldn’t leave mid conversation with you, I just love helping people with pets.’ she had a dog and two cats but no kids. I liked talking to her a lot. She asked me to keep her posted. The people who rang me up were also good. Man near the bag area asked me a few times if I wanted a cart. I said no. He wasn’t wearing a petsmart uniform. The woman non-committally asked about my tattoos and said she doesn’t like needles. I said ‘it’s different than needles, kind of’ and the man said ‘he really doesn’t like getting his nails clipped.’ I looked where he was looking, at two dogs on tables behind a glass wall.