‘Right, this is the deciding round!’ Dad said, doing his best imitation of a quiz show host. We’d completed five rounds, including Disney and Pixar characters so the kids had a chance to shine, and a musicals round, where, instead of writing them down, Nana Joy chose to give us a mini rendition of each answer. She put on a fabulous show, with the added bonus that everyone then got full marks. After a science round, sports, and popular culture, Henry and I – paired up as predicted – were neck and neck with Jed and Daisy.

‘Feeling confident?’ Henry muttered, sitting beside me on one of the giant sofas, the knuckles of his clasped hands glowing white.

‘Of course.’ My eyes narrowed as I sized up the competition. In twenty-odd years of Armstrong Christmas quizzes, the best I’d achieved was second place. ‘I can’t wait to wipe the smug smile off Jed’s face.’

‘Hasn’t he won once or twice before?’ Henry asked, his face blank.

I looked at him, the corner of my mouth curling up in surprise. ‘Maybe you should ask him.’

Jed had repeatedly announced to no one interested that he was the reigning champion, having won a total of twelve quizzes.

‘Right, here we go.’ Jed smacked his fist into the other hand, like a bully preparing for a punch-up. ‘Prepare to meet your doom, Astro Quizicists!’

‘Yeah, Astro Quizitist! You’re going DOWN!’ Daisy yelled, jumping about on her sofa.

‘Oh, button up, Rainbow Mermaid Warriors!’ I jeered back. ‘You’re all talk and no trousers. It’s not over until the fat lady sings!’

‘Nana Joy isn’t fat!’ Frankie squealed with gleeful horror.

‘I wasn’t talking about—’

‘Who said I was fat? Was it that good-for-nothing reporter from that trash magazine again? He’s always spreading wild rumours about me. Barely half of them are true!’

‘I have got trousers but Mummy said I had to wear a pretty dress. I did told you this already, Auntie Bea!’

‘Can we pleeeeaaaase get on with it? I’ve got tons of lines to learn before the show.’

‘Quiet!’ Mum barked. Once she’d given us all her best headmistress glare, she nodded to Dad to proceed.

‘This vital round is on…’

‘Dinosaurs!’

‘Chipmunks!’

‘Chipmunks? Daisy, you’re so strange. You know nothing about chipmunks.’ Elana rolled her eyes.

‘I know lots about them! Mummy, Elana said I don’t know nothing about chipmunks but I do! I know that they live in America and live under the ground and eat nuts, berries, insects, frogs and—’

‘Hey, if you aren’t quiet we won’t get to hear what the topic is,’ Mia intervened.

‘Well-then-Elana-shouldn’t-have-said-that-I-don’t… sorry, Mummy.’

‘It’s on an even better topic than dinosaurs or chipmunks… the Armstrong Family!’ Dad announced with a flourish.

‘Not fair!’ Elana grumbled. ‘I’ve only been in the family for ten years.’