When I hesitated, he added, ‘You’ve asked for some space, and I’ve given it you, Bea. But how are we going to work this out if you keep holding me at arm’s length? You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. After everything we’ve been through, surely it’s worth taking a few hours to give us one more chance?’

Looking into those eyes I knew so well, I had to agree. After all those years, I felt as though I owed us both the opportunity to find out if this time things could be different.

‘I don’t have time for lunch, but a carriage ride sounds good.’

Might as well have one of my dreams come true while I tried to decide whether I still wanted the other one.

27

The Winter Wonderland was wonderful. Wandering amongst the families and other couples, it was hard not to get drawn into the magical atmosphere. It was set in a local forest park and there were various pop-up food vendors and stalls selling Christmassy goods. Seating areas were set around a small stage where a young man crooned big-band classics and in a small paddock, children could pet reindeers.

I continued to resist Adam’s offer to buy lunch, but did accept a warm apple cider as we joined the queue for the carriages. It made an enchanting picture, snuggling under a fur rug with Adam’s arm around me as the horses clopped down the path, a meadow sparkling with frost on one side, shimmering water on the other.

Only… I didn’t quite manage to feel enchanted.

Was it because I was too distracted with everything else going on? Or was it simply that I’d started to realise that if Adam and I were going to stand a chance, it couldn’t be based on romantic gestures and starry-eyed dreams. Let alone old memories. I wanted someone to be there for me in the nitty-gritty, ordinary every day. Something that Adam had always shied away from. The big question was, had he really changed to the point that he was ready for a day-in, day-out life with me?

‘I spoke to Dino about the job. He says it’s available as soon as I’m back,’ Adam said as the carriage began curving away from the river and back towards the park. ‘When do you start at BWM Today? If you need somewhere to stay while you find your own place, I can always ask around, see if anyone’s got a room to rent.’

I sat up, moving out from under his arm and putting the length of the carriage seat between us. ‘Yeah, I would have mentioned it sooner but I only decided this morning.’ I tried to ignore the twitch of fear and hope on Adam’s face and pressed on. ‘I’ve turned down BWM Today.’