‘Thanks, Bea. You too. Say hi to everyone for me.’ There was a brief pause. ‘You know how much I love you, right? You’re my inspiration. Every time I pick up the guitar I’m thinking of you. I promise it’ll be worth it in the end: all the sacrifice, all the waiting. Just a little bit longer…’

‘I love you, too.’

For the first time I realised, with an overwhelming rush of dread, that love wasn’t going to be enough.

While the thought of living without him ripped my guts apart, this pretence at being with him was killing me one excuse at a time. I let things drag on until June, when I finally admitted that it was never going to change. Chasing the dream was Adam’s first love; I was merely the mistress waiting on the side.

6

I read the email, my heart plummeting into my slipper socks.

This evening.

I’d assumed that the ‘this evening’ comment must have been either rhetorical, or a slip of the tongue, but the email made it very clear that this assumption had been incorrect.

The interview process started with a welcome drinks reception at 6 p.m. this evening.

It concluded with lunch and the ‘grand announcement’ two days later, on the twenty-fourth – who in their right mind held a residential job interview on Christmas Eve?

I devoured every word of the email with an urgency that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I had to be at that interview.

Clicking up the Armstrong Family Christmas Itinerary, I skim-read the activities for the next couple of days. This afternoon was rehearsals for the show, followed by a trip into Hatherstone for the Christmas market and dinner at a local restaurant. I couldn’t see any trips into the village happening in the next few days.

Sunday the twenty-third was a champagne brunch, afternoon board games, and a walk to Hatherstone chapel for the carols by candlelight, finished off with a singalonga-Christmas film.

Christmas Eve carried on in much the same vein, with an Armstrong Family Buffet in the evening that included Mum’s four cousins plus assorted partners, children, and their families.

Mum would be gutted if I missed it. If I was honest, I didn’t want to miss it. Then again, that still left four days to go full Armstrong, including the Spectacular on the twenty-sixth. I decided that if I could find a way to get to the interview, and then back again for the Christmas Eve buffet, I would take that as a sign that I was meant to go.