‘Ivan, behave!’ Polina scolded from where she appeared in the far doorway carrying a box of cleaning products. ‘This is no way to treat our guests.’

‘Sorry, Beyoncé,’ he muttered, returning to land on Henry’s head. If a parrot sitting on Henry’s head wasn’t delightful enough, this one wore a knitted Christmas pudding jumper including a hood and holes for his grey wings.

‘That’s better. You be friendly while I go and clean.’

‘This is really not better,’ Henry said, his face a blank mask that I was learning hid a myriad different emotions, in this instance, none of them good.

Too late, Polina had gone.

‘How is she going to clean in all those clothes?’ I mused, watching her waddle across the garden.

‘Not the top question in my mind right now,’ Henry replied through gritted teeth.

‘Oh?’ I sat down on the chair, unable to hide my smile. ‘What would that be?’

‘That would be how have we managed to end up in an even worse situation than the last one?’

‘It’s Christmas Eve. Embrace the adventure.’

‘If it craps on my head, I’m blaming you.’

17

An hour or so later, to our relief, Polina returned. She’d removed at least a few of the layers, and was overjoyed to discover that she wouldn’t be needing to put them on again, thanks to Henry having started a fire once he’d persuaded Ivan to relocate to a more suitable perch on the end of the bed.

‘A Christmas miracle! You are an angel sent from God himself. Please, sit back down and I will get food.’

‘Really, that’s not necessary.’ Henry remained standing. ‘Thank you for letting us wait here, and for the delicious coffee, but we’ll be going now.’

‘Henry,’ I hissed. ‘We can’t leave her on her own on Christmas Eve.’

‘She’s not on her own,’ he whispered back. ‘She’s got Ivan.’

I gave him a fierce look. He responded by closing his eyes. ‘Please don’t make me stay here. I’ve had about as much different as I can take.’

‘Here you are. Complimentary hamper. Enjoy.’ Polina held out a small wicker basket containing milk, mince pies, a bottle of wine, and a few other treats tucked inside. ‘Please don’t take the basket when you leave. It is my last one.’

‘This is wonderful, thank you so much…’ I glanced at Henry’s desperate eyes but couldn’t help myself. ‘I don’t suppose you’d like to join us…’

‘You suppose correct. Thank you for the invitation but no thank you. I will speak to my family now on the video call.’

‘Okay, well, merry Christmas!’ Henry was already waiting for me by the door. ‘Thanks again.’