‘What?’ He quickly twisted his head towards the fields, but I’d already caught his features plummet in disappointment.

I gave him a minute to compose himself before trying to offer an explanation. ‘I’m sorry, it’s just… my heart is here.’

Adam turned back, clearing his throat. ‘Well. My heart is with you, so I guess I’d better start job-hunting.’

We rode on past a family with a young girl who pointed up at the carriage, mouth open in awe as we smiled and waved.

‘If we decide not to try again, not to get married, would you still want to live up here?’ I asked. ‘Because if not, I don’t think you should move to Nottingham until we’re sure. It’d only put us under more pressure.’

‘If you decide not to marry me, I’ll decide how and where I’m going to live without you then. You don’t need to worry about it. It doesn’t make any sense for me to stay in London. That was the whole problem before, and I’d only end up travelling back up here every chance I got, anyway. How can you become sure if we’re living in separate cities?’

Because I want to know if you’re able to stick it out, even when it’s hard? I didn’t speak aloud, but Adam knew me well enough to see it on my face. Because I’m still expecting you to disappear at the first whiff of a music deal.

Or, because the thought of this, Adam right beside me all the time, pursuing a passionate, poetic happy ever after, was starting to feel like a scarf that had been wound too tightly around my throat.

Sensing that he’d pushed things too far, Adam switched to more light-hearted conversation, and as soon as the ride had finished, he drove me home as promised. He did ask if I wanted to come and spend New Year’s Eve with him in London, but I was reluctant to go while Nana Joy was still so shaky so he offered to take me out in Nottingham instead.

‘My mate Zane can get us tickets for this fancy dinner and live band event.’

‘Will you know many people there?’ I didn’t especially enjoy hanging out with Adam’s ‘mates’, or how he tended to ignore me after the first two drinks.

‘Irrelevant,’ he said as we wound our way through the forest in the car he’d borrowed from his mum. ‘I’ll only have eyes for you.’ He slowed down to allow a pheasant to cross the road before glancing over at me. ‘Unless you already have a better offer?’