Once pleasantly stuffed with Mum’s beef and butterbean stew, I took the opportunity to clear some plates and hopefully my head at the same time. It was far too hot in the dining room, packed with so many of us, and I needed fresh air and to be somewhere I wasn’t continuously trying not to bump elbows with the person next to me.

‘Hey, sis.’ Mia was right behind me. She dumped a stack of serving dishes on the enormous kitchen table and pulled me in for a huge hug. ‘It’s so good you could get the time off this year.’

I squeezed her back. I loved my sister-in-law. I was thirteen when she first started going out with Jed, and while she’d never quite lost that allure of being older than me and therefore cooler and infinitely more worldy-wise, over the years we had also become genuine friends.

‘What, so I could dilute the Mum-factor?’ I said, laughing as we broke apart.

‘She’s gone full Armstrong this year. I don’t think I could get through it without you,’ Mia replied, her face deadpan until suddenly breaking into a wicked grin as she pointed at me. ‘And now your childhood betrothed is here, I can properly sit back and relax. She probably won’t even notice if I skive Christmas dinner.’

‘You could have warned me he’d moved in.’ I opened the fridge and took out the cheesecake Dad had prepared for dessert. While my mother insisted on wholegrain and home-made, Dad occasionally managed to sneak in a treat that contained refined sugar.

‘Then you might not have come home.’ Mia’s eyes shone with glee as she picked up an enormous bowl of fruit. ‘Besides, I think your mum could be right on this one.’

‘Um, excuse me?’

‘You two can barely look at each other.’

‘Yes, because we can’t stand each other!’

‘You’re very flushed for someone who’s only had a small glass of wine.’

‘I’m wearing a lot of wool. Plus, I had a cocktail before I came here. Have you been scrutinising my every move?’

‘Of course I have! I was dying to meet this mystery man who’s apparently so perfect for you. You can’t blame me for wanting to see if there’s any chemistry.’ Mia waggled her eyebrows suggestively as she left the room.

‘Well, I hope your curiosity has been satisfied. Sorry to disappoint you, and everyone else.’

She twisted her head to look at me over her shoulder as she went, her fair hair gleaming in the fairy lights shining through the kitchen window. ‘Oh, I’m not disappointed.’

Every muscle in my neck and shoulders was aching with pent-up tension by the time we finished eating. However the torture was far from over. Once we’d cleared up and put the kettle on, any hope of escaping upstairs was quashed by Mum’s guilt-tripping comments about the itinerary.