And it worked. For a while, at least.

I had thought I would be angrier with Tobias, but a small part of me actually felt sorry for him. He’d always had a difficult relationship with girls, and he’d struggled to find his place both in Solstad and in Fredheim. And he’d never had a lot of friends. Certainly not good ones. He didn’t have football, like I did.

Maybe our mother’s years of neglect and blatant drinking had had more of an impact on him than on me. He was, after all, two years younger. And maybe, just maybe, the apple indeed doesn’t fall too far from the tree. Maybe he became a murderer because my mother was one. And maybe his rages, like our mother’s, were impossible to control because they were just a part of who he was.

I would never be able to forgive him, though. And I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him ever again. He’d killed Mari. Our half-sister. If he hadn’t done that, Imo wouldn’t have killed Johannes. And Børre. Imo himself would not have been dead right now.

Before I gave the signal to Mork, who’d been listening to everything Tobias and I had said via a microphone that was taped to my chest, I wanted to give my brother a few more minutes of normality, a moment or two of youth before his life would change forever.

I picked up my controller. With a nod to the screen I asked him if we should play another game. He looked at me for a long time. As his eyes started to flood with tears, he nodded.

88

NOW

Tobias stares at the surface of the table in front of him. He seems far too small for his suit. He has lost a lot of weight since Yngve Mork arrested him last autumn. He hasn’t bothered to shave his stubble. Even in a suit he manages to look unkempt.

Tobias never said he was sorry. Not to me, or anyone else. He never tried to express remorse to Mari’s parents, either, and he’s made no effort to catch my eye when the judge excused me and told me I could leave the courtroom. My brother has never even confessed formally, which was why all of us were called as witnesses.

But I am done with him now. I am done with the case.

I am ready to move on, although I’m sure the events in Fredheim last October will stay with me till the day I die. Everybody knows who I am now. Whenever people hear my name, whenever the people of Fredheim see me, they think of the crazy members of my family and what happened in our small community during the course of a few wet and cold autumn days.