4

I woke abruptly, not sure what time it was or even if it was day or night. My head was spinning, pounding. I tried to remember when I had gone to bed, but I had trouble recalling what I’d done the previous night.

Then it all came back to me.

I’d been thinking about her, about what I’d like to do to her when I saw her. Who the hell breaks up with anyone by text and then goes into hiding for two days?

Just the thought of Mari made my heart start to race, but not in a good way. Not excited. A strange sensation spread through my whole body, an uneasiness I really couldn’t explain. I wasn’t nauseous. I wasn’t nervous, either. I just felt … weird. Like my gut was doing somersaults or something.

I got out of bed and checked the time. It was still early. I had time for a shower before breakfast. Neither the hot water nor a couple of knekkebrød with butter and goat’s cheese helped, though. It’s just the lack of sleep, I said to myself. That, or the crap food you always stuff down your throat.

I went into the hall and started to get ready for school. I looked at myself in the mirror and wondered, yet again, what on earth I’d done to her. Had I said something? Done something? Was it something I should have done? Or did she simply not like me anymore?

I ran my fingers through my hair and rubbed in some wax. Stepped back and looked at myself. I thought I looked pretty good. Six feet tall now. Not much fat on my body. I was pretty smart, too. Wouldn’t have any trouble finding another girl. Trouble was, I didn’t want another girl. I wanted her.

In the mirror I saw movement behind me. My younger brother, Tobias, was padding down the stairs, hands in his pockets, joggers almost falling off. He’d changed so much over the past six months. He was almost as tall as me now, and I could tell that he had put on some muscle. He’d let his hair grow longer, too, and he sometimes put it in a man bun, like I did. Usually, though, he just stuffed it underneath a baseball cap, like he didn’t care. He didn’t care about much, to be honest, except maybe his online games.

Tobias was not an easy person to get close to. Never had been. More than once I’d wondered whether he ever talked to anyone outside school. He was a speak-when-spoken-to kind of kid. It didn’t help that his face was always covered in acne, dark and red.