My mother’s face sinks down, and she raises her shoulders almost all the way up to her ears. It’s as if she’s trying to make herself smaller. As if she wants to disappear into her shell, like a turtle. I feel sorry for her.

She knows what’s coming.

58

THEN

After I had talked to Hulsker, I wanted to check in on Mum. Knut lived in a complex that had been built behind the old dairy factory a few years before. It was a grey building, full of small, almost identical flats.

I pressed the buzzer and Knut quickly let me in. He was waiting for me in the hall, which smelt of dust and spices from somewhere remote.

‘Your mother is asleep,’ he said.

‘Oh,’ I said. ‘Good.’

We stood there looking at each other for a moment. He showed me inside, and offered me a cup of tea.

‘No thanks,’ I said. ‘I’m good. I was wondering if I could ask you a question, though. Did you and Mum ever talk about … well, my dad?’

Knut cocked his head. ‘About Jimmy? Not really. Why are you asking?’

‘Just curious,’ I said. ‘Did you know him?’

Knut didn’t answer straightaway. ‘I was a few years younger than your father,’ he finally said.

‘What did people in town say about the accident?’

Knut took a step back and looked at me. ‘What’s all this about, Even? Why are you asking all these questions about Jimmy all of a sudden?’

‘I’m just trying to find out about a few things,’ I said, realising how vague I sounded. ‘So, can you remember anything?’

‘I only read what it said in the papers.’

I studied him for a few moments. ‘Where is she?’

‘In the bedroom?’

‘Can I go in?’

‘Yeah, sure.’

I didn’t particularly enjoy the idea of going into Knut’s bedroom, where he and Mum no doubt did God knows what, but I wanted to see how she was, even if she was asleep. It was a small room, so narrow there was only room for one bedside table. And it was almost impossible to get past the large wardrobe that stood at the end of the bed.

Mum had pulled the duvet up under her chin. She was sound asleep, like a child. I wondered what was going on underneath that damp forehead of hers. She must have kept a lot to herself over the years. She didn’t have a lot of friends in Solstad, and the ones from the old days in Fredheim hadn’t reached out to her when she’d come back.