She grabbed the lead and got him to sit still. Give it all you’ve got, I said to myself, like they do in the movies. Then I began to kick. I kicked and kicked and kicked. But still nothing happened. I attacked it again, targeting the same spot, and finally I felt something give, the door was about to give way. This gave me more strength, and I kicked again, as hard as I could. Slowly, gradually, the door was coming apart.

For a moment I was afraid it might fall on my brother, that he’d fallen asleep while playing GTA during the night, and that he was still sitting in the same place. But the door just fell on an empty chair. Tobias wasn’t even in the room.

52

52

While Even was kicking down Tobias’s door, several possible scenarios raced through Susanne’s mind. Tobias had fainted. He’d somehow passed away during the night. He’d taken his own life. She had been worried sick for years, thinking that he spent way too much time on his own, that he didn’t have any friends. That he didn’t care about anything. Somehow, though, she hadn’t been prepared for this. An empty room.

The window was shut, so he couldn’t have climbed through there. He hadn’t got up early, either, she’d been awake since quarter to three. He must have left the house some time during the night.

But where had he gone? And why?

Even ran downstairs, phone to his ear. Susanne went after him. She needed to hold on to the bannister to stop herself toppling over. For a moment she caught a glimpse of herself in the big entrance-hall mirror. This thin, despicable creature of a human being, face drained of colour, eyes big and round. She looked like a witch. A raving, mad witch.

‘Fuck, he’s not answering,’ Even muttered, as he pressed some more buttons on his phone, putting it once more to his ear. ‘Hey, Imo,’ Even said, before explaining what had happened. ‘So he’s not at your place?’

Susanne was too far away to hear what Imo replied, but she could see Even cursing, then thinking to himself. It felt as if something, or someone, was choking her. She couldn’t breathe.

Tobias was gone.

Had he run away?

Had someone asked him to come over in the middle of the night, and then…?

Susanne closed her eyes and tried to shake the thoughts that hit her with full force.

‘I’m going to his school’ Even told Imo. A short beat, then he shook his head. ‘It’ll be quicker if I go by bike.’