On the picture Tobias had just a few hairs on his upper lip, but his face in general was covered in spots. Some red, some dark purple – almost blue. He always hid his face under caps or hoodies.

Susanne drew a heavy breath. She had tried to help him as best she could, hadn’t she? It wasn’t easy when hormones were running freely, when he didn’t care about hygiene and when he didn’t eat proper food. Susanne knew the food problem was mostly her fault, but Tobias didn’t eat fish, he hated salad, and when she knew that he wasn’t doing very well in any aspect of his life, she usually ended up cooking or buying all his favourites, just to make him a little bit happier. She had done her best, hadn’t she? So how the hell could this happen?

She closed her eyes, glad she was sitting down. The words Imo had used to describe Tobias’s state bounced back and forth inside her mind. She was trying to breathe and swallow, but it was hard to do both at the same time. Something was ringing in her ears as well – loud noises, high-pitched voices. And the light, switching from bright white to pitch-black. It made her head spin.

Tobias had seemed happy to get away from his school at Solstad and that stupid thing with that phony cry-baby, Amalie. But after they had settled in Fredheim once more, he’d only isolated himself more and more. Good friends were hard to come by. Susanne knew that only too well.

She opened her eyes and walked up and down a little, stopping again in front of a mirror, where she took a good, hard look at herself. The black, short hair. The dark pouches around the eyes. The wrinkles on either side of her mouth, like two parenthesis around her lips.

She saw a mother. A terrible, despicable mother.

A human being who deserved to be every bit as miserable as she was. She had had it coming, hadn’t she, with the way she’d handled her life? The way she had acted, the choices she’d made. The way she’d allowed her children to fend for themselves. Because that was what she’d done, wasn’t it? She wanted to punch the mirror, smash it into a thousand pieces. Just to punish that ugly face.

‘When was the last time you had something to eat?’

She turned and looked at Even.

‘Last night, maybe,’ she replied finally.

‘We better get you some food, then. There must be a canteen or something around here somewhere.’

‘I’m not leaving Tobias.’

‘You need to eat, Mum.’

‘I don’t want to eat. I don’t feel like it.’

Even looked to Knut for assistance. ‘Go on,’ Knut said. ‘Get yourself something to eat. You’ve got your phone. I’ll call you if there’s any change.’